Kids, Health and Parenting: A mother's love - FML

A mother's love

By Anna - 02/08/2024 14:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was stranded on the couch with a sleeping baby. I had my phone, but everything I wanted to do needed both hands, or sound. I was toying with my phone on my lips when someone texted me, causing the phone to vibrate my teeth, which hurt, and to avoid my baby falling, I crunched my shoulder and pulled a muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 446

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Same thing different taste

Kinda sus, dude

By Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 97

HELP!

By jenny2989 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 054

You deserved it 18 355

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:06 - United States

Today, I got a text message. My phone was sitting on the edge of the bed and set on vibrate, so it fell off. I reached down to grab my phone and fell off the bed. My macbook landed on top of me. I fractured my arm and broke my laptop to read a text from facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 268

You deserved it 21 217

By jack - 28/02/2011 05:43

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 796

You deserved it 2 522

By Sick - 24/02/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 674

You deserved it 6 174

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 944

You deserved it 39 071

By Sleepy - 31/05/2015 15:51 - United States - Apo

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 480

You deserved it 5 035

Skittish and wet

By JennieLee - 30/08/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

By IHaveTwoOwies - 06/10/2017 13:00

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 066

You deserved it 402

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 232

You deserved it 7 728

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Keywords

Confused University Annoying Education Love AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Animals Harassment Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 275

You deserved it 20 888

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 415

You deserved it 15 012

The Top

Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 185

Today, I went to the Asian Grocery. I politely smiled, bellowed, “Hello!” and kind of waved to the cashier as I walked in, to which he gave me a blank, scared-for-his-life kinda look. Turns out he was actually just another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 428

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 158

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 178

Today, I went back to work after a nasty sinus infection. While I was talking to my manager, I sniffled, and a huge ropy string of green snot popped out of my nose. My manager pointed and shrieked, "OH MY GOD! EWWWW!", getting the attention of everyone in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 233

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 1 536