The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

By JazzSpazz - 11/08/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 921

You deserved it 24 133

Todd is fine, and you?

By blind_date - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 6 432

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 5 462

By Angry - 04/08/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 917

You deserved it 7 190

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 915

You deserved it 6 020

By Argh - 03/11/2013 20:18 - France - Saivres

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 911

You deserved it 9 278

By neighbor - 26/01/2014 13:08 - Australia - Mosman

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 902

You deserved it 4 012

By WTF? - 01/04/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 898

You deserved it 8 205

Perfect timing

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 20:18 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered, "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you!" He broke up with me on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 895

You deserved it 16 345

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 892

You deserved it 11 185

By Anonymous - 17/05/2011 10:06 - Finland

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 889

You deserved it 8 268

Enough!

By pissed off - 02/07/2014 21:52 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 882

You deserved it 4 961

By Andrew - 31/10/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 882

You deserved it 9 916

By gullible - 12/04/2014 16:01 - United States

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 878

You deserved it 3 938

A tad insecure

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Anchorage

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 875

You deserved it 5 143

By BlueB - 06/07/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 874

You deserved it 20 943

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 868

You deserved it 25 975

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 863

You deserved it 4 377

Sex ed has failed entire generations

By Thatslife - 26/03/2011 19:29 - Netherlands

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 862

You deserved it 7 868

By pink_cupcakes - 15/08/2009 10:22 - Australia

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 859

You deserved it 4 795

By loverpants - 14/08/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 853

You deserved it 5 549

By lonely - 24/10/2011 14:55 - United States

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 3 121

Felt cute, might delete later

By nopanties - 04/03/2013 05:11 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 6 453

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 05:24 - United States - Oakland

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 14 630

By rachelllynne - 09/05/2013 17:44 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 3 146

By noname - 13/12/2008 05:48 - France

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 972

By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 846

You deserved it 5 185

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 846

You deserved it 2 800

By Sadtimes - 17/09/2009 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 3 758

Taking the piss

By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 17 114

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 79

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, my school caught a kid with a firearm, so during our lunch period we had to stay in our classrooms and nobody can leave and nobody can get food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 109

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 6 504

Today, I woke up to find out that my tinnitus has suddenly worsened. I used to be able to just ignore it, but now it's ridiculous. Almost everyone says I'm "too young" to have it, especially this bad. I say those people can go fuck themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 120

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 510

You deserved it 5 949

Today, I realized that all my teammates have bigger tits than I do. I'm the only girl on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 586

You deserved it 323

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 124