savannahhkayy

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Savannahhkayy's favorite FMLs

Spooky

By dear god help me. - 04/09/2013 22:46 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 124

You deserved it 3 546

By Anna L. - 25/03/2013 00:23 - United States - San Antonio

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 175

You deserved it 6 587

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 044

You deserved it 7 794

By alice5000 - 07/11/2008 05:47 - France

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 467

You deserved it 70 236

By gracehi - 07/03/2014 20:29 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 544

You deserved it 4 520

gracehi tells us more.

gracehi 31

Saturday 8 March 2014 7:40

Thank you, but I wasn't brave. There's a tall picket fence and some trees obscuring the view of my apartment from the school. I can only see the school parking lot because I'm on the second story. The only reason someone would be able to see me from there would be if they were looking for me. I would have been quite safe, even if there had been any real danger. If there really was some lunatic shooting up the school, at the very least I would have called the cops. I'd like to think I would also grab my gun, head over there, and try to shoot the mother ****** myself, but you never really know what you'll do in a situation like that until it happens.