Alcohol and Miscellaneous: Denial

Denial

By Andre - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 142

You deserved it 32 386

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Same thing different taste

It's all my fault

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 39 411

By Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 52 581

By ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 102

You deserved it 41 817

By shelby - 30/03/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 488

You deserved it 27 348

By mindlost - 07/01/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 261

You deserved it 29 453

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 786

You deserved it 34 535

By foxfur - 14/07/2016 12:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 712

You deserved it 3 943

The Conversationalist

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 400

By talker - 14/11/2012 06:14 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 542

You deserved it 23 018

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 938

You deserved it 30 107

Doortje 29

Monday 16 May 2011 12:10

Well, acknowledging you have a problem is the first step..

FunnyGuy5051 7

Monday 16 May 2011 12:06

I think they thought you were more drunk than pathetic

Comments

TNBW74 2

Monday 16 May 2011 13:47

drink up...

enoughgrace 4

Monday 16 May 2011 14:16

Were you in Egypt?

DocBastard 38

Monday 16 May 2011 14:56

No, what really screams "pathetic loser" is calling yourself gayboii, typing like a freaking crackhead, and expecting people to take you seriously.

FMLsOhilarious 6

Monday 16 May 2011 14:58

Haha wow...you are a pathetic loser.

CrazyManNo9 29

Monday 16 May 2011 15:17

The voices in my head are telling me not to talk to you....

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 16 May 2011 17:25

Maybe you should seek help, OP. If you're an admitted alcoholic, you know you have a problem; now it's time to fix it.

ReynshineCutting 10

Monday 16 May 2011 18:49

Don't worry OP. Most people argue with themselves sometimes. I argue with myself over food sometimes. It doesn't make you pathetic. It's hard to control your desires sometimes. Maybe talk to a therapist or someone that could help you. It seems to me it's easier to fall off the AA wagon than it is with a therapist.