Today, I realised I have used this website to scroll myself to... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Motherfml - 29/10/2021 07:11 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I realised I have used this website to scroll myself to sleep pretty much every night for half my life. I’m a 31 year-old mum of two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 75

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Top comments

mike3775 35

Saturday 6 November 2021 17:54

I got a message last year from someone saying they saw a comment I made back in 2011. So I have been coming here daily for over a decade now. Your not alone.

Comments

mike3775 35

Saturday 6 November 2021 17:54

I got a message last year from someone saying they saw a comment I made back in 2011. So I have been coming here daily for over a decade now. Your not alone.

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The Top

Today, I realised that unless I masturbate about an hour before sex, sex lasts less than 20 seconds, but even after masturbating I’m still lucky to last a single minute. I don’t know how to stop disappointing her, and she’s my first serious girlfriend. I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 226

You deserved it 551

Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 057

You deserved it 31 889

The Top

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 279

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 120

You deserved it 8 110

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 560

You deserved it 23 960

But mooooom! I'm a grown man!

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 60

Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 195

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 286

You deserved it 235