Friends, Drunk and Gross: With friends like these…

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 688

You deserved it 7 126

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Same thing different taste

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 277

You deserved it 40 931

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 237

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 3 857

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 102

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 417

You deserved it 6 081

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 462

You deserved it 3 171

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 3 178

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 240

You deserved it 43 577

tingting1 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 22:49

oooh yuckk good job on keeping your friend safe though :)

meezer008 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 22:50

u sound like a good friend

Comments

patedog 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:25

don't worry you will laugh ur ass of about it in 20 years time

froggygrl78 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:44

That sucks. And it's cool that you kept your friend safe. But I think that the most important thing is that you kept eveyone else safe. The saddest thing about drunk drivers is not that they are rislikng their own lives but also the lives of countless innocent people. So on behalf of all those innocent people, thank you for putting up with what was I am sure a horrible experience to save who knows how many lives.

whataloadofbull 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:00

You should have ****** her after cleaning up the vomit.

Desmonard 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 2:20

I love the FMLs that involve vomiting, always make lol.

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:00

Hopefully you at least learned an important life lesson from this experience: When you try to be nice to chicks, they vomit on your face. Next time, make her sleep on the damn floor. She can vomit on herself.

jonny2x4 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 3:32

No good deed goes unpunished. Lesson learned.

Bloonbloon 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 4:20

lol #54

PandaPandaPandaX 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 6:18

...and then you found out it was videoed and turned into fetish ****? I'm jut trying to find the FML in this story. You most likely saved her life. Make her you slave until you think you've been paid back, it'll even itself out ;P

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:12

Have you never seen the Dog Whisperer before? You have to assert your dominance (in this case by making HER sleep on the floor). Once she recognizes you as the pack leader, she will be responsive to your commands (such as "Put out").