All the FMLs

OP here. Im so shocked I got posted. Just like to say my cousin was gone when it exploded and I was stung about 9 times. Overall it was very exciting being able to go outside and know something wanted your freaking soul. Those suckers will Hunt you down and rape your body with their asses

Hello everyone, OP here. I have enjoyed reading the comments, they are all very amusing and gave me a good laugh. In response to the Karate Kid comment, I actually practice Tai Chi, Qigong, Sword Fighting, and other martial arts/ weapon combat styles. Sometimes I do feel like the Karate Kid, especially with this latest development in my life. Because of my martial arts training I believe in self-defense and since all the kid hurled at me were threats, I am not too concerned. I don't think he believed I was above the age of thirteen until I drove in my car today and then you should have seen his expression. It was very amusing. I tend to look very young for my age (hey I'm not complaining) so people tend to think I am in my very early teens all of the time. I was even denied access to a lot of the casinos at Cliff Castle not too long ago because I looked too young to be on the casino floors. At the end of the day I had to wear a stamp that confirmed my age to even be allowed on the casino floors so in some sense I can understand why people mistake me for being so young. In response to the question about living at home, I happen to be a working professional, those years are behind me now. But there are definitely days when I wish that I was still as young as people like to think I am. If I happen to see the kid's parents I'll let them know about his behavior so he doesn't treat the other neighborhood kids the same way. Thank you for the support in all of this. No one should be bullied no matter what age they happen to be. I hope this will inspire other people to stop bullying in their schools and neighborhoods too.

Hi! OP here! :) first off all: wow! I never expected this to make it to the FMLpage! Don't worry, people. I posted this because it was funny. I was very, very embarrassed when I walked out to the living room and saw everybody and realized that I hadn't been alone after all(my parents came home from their trip to our cabin with their friends a day earlier than they had planned.) But I laughed at it after I realized how funny it was. And it's extra funny that you guys automatically assumed that I'm a guy! I'm actually a girl. haha! Which is why I felt so embarrassed, since I've never met those particularly friends of my parents. Great first impression, don't you think? lol. but they smiled and joked around, trying to make me feel less embarrassed, so it's all good!

I usually handle smaller spiders okay unless they surprise me, but these guys were big. This happened at about 1 am last night and my housemate was asleep, so a vacuum was not an option. I did use big spray. In fact, I nailed the first one three times and it shrugged it off like a BAMF (it was a Texan spider, after all). I actually already have a cat - two, in fact. They were very interested in the spiders, but I didn't want them to get bitten, so I didn't let them get close enough to attack. I finally got the first one in a cup with a lid and filled that sucker up with the bug spray. That worked! Then I saw the second one and about died, myself. It ended up under a cup eventually, too, and met Mr. Shoe. Thanks for the suggestions, though - they made me laugh!

OP here. Yeah I did dodge a bullet. ******* moron, that one. I spoke to her the next day and it turns out that she only knew Haiti from the what she saw on CNN. I told her that's ******* stupid and there is no "certain" way to look like an ethnicity. She kept trying to find rationalizations like maybe I was mixed with French or something. Nope. I'm full on darkie. What makes this worse is that she's African American and lives in South Florida. So there's no way she hasn't interacted with Haitians before. I always hear from fellow Haitians that they get this a lot, but its the first time it actually happened to me. For the people asking, my mothers cousin passed in the earthquake and my dads family lost their home. My godsister also passed away. It was not an easy time at all. I'm not sure how the conversation came about with me & her but needless to say, there won't be a second date.

I'm really quiet and well my family chooses to ignore me unless it is time for house work.

To all those asking, I am highly allergic to bees and wasps. When I discovered I was in an enclosed space with it, my mind wasn't thinking "pull over and let it out", but rather panic. When you're scared of something, the mind doesn't always make the most logical decisions. I ended up weaving on and off the shoulder and hadn't realized a cop had his lights on behind me until he sounded his siren. I quickly pulled over and got out of my car. I had to take a breathalyzer and passed, and after explaining my ordeal, the nice man helped me get the wasp out of my car. And to those who say roll the window down: Have you ever successfully tried to get an insect out of a moving vehicle via window? I've tried this on multiple occasions and I either can't get the damned thing to go near the window, or if I do, the wind knocks them back into my car. :/

The speech took less than 2 minutes, it was a brief message thanking everyone for coming and how me and my husband greatly appreciate it. The party was the only way to gather my whole family. A dinner reservation would cost hundreds of dollars considering the size of my family. My brother just led my mother out and we carried on. Yes, we did supply a little wine but be didn't want a lot of alcohol considering I am pregnant and I don't want anyone drunk. Just clearing it up (:

OP here. I made an account so I could follow up. For those of you doubting my parenting: in my household, no banshee-like deed goes unpunished. Yes, this was a school suspension, for those unsure, and it was three weeks, which is pretty reasonable. Sadly, this is a continuation jr. high school for kids who've been permanently expelled (I'm surprised no one asked why she's still in school during the summer), where banshee-like behaviors such as this are not rare.

Yes, my psychiatrist is a boss. She did the impression spot on without looking up from her notes, which was hilarious. Woopwoopwoopwooooop