All the FMLs

The scenic route

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 23:00 - Spain - Santa Cruz de Tenerife

Today, after spending thousands of Euros flying back to my home country to pick up my expensive prescription medicine, I found out that I can buy it 200 meters from my current home, without prescription, and at a quarter of the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 962

Just the two of us

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 121

Stop! Stop!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 2 678

This is America

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have only been back at work for one week after elbow surgery, which was followed immediately by hospitalization for diabetic ketoacidosis, which caused a severe flare up of my gout. The hospital bill is over $3,200 with insurance, and I just tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 139

Low blow

By Well thenn - 15/04/2023 05:00 - United States - Bridgeton

Today, I told my sister that it wasn't classy to eat an entire box of cookies by herself. She responding by telling me it's not classy to not know who my son's father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 2 273

Emotional

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I sent a WhatsApp message to my boss that was meant for my ex-boyfriend. The message was a picture of my middle finger. Note to self: always check which conversation window you're typing/sending pictures in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 146

The truth

By theynamedmeluke - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Austin

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 2 956

Trash

By Attack of the drunk caveman - 14/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm a hotel housekeeper. I was warned by the manager that one of the rooms was "horrible." When I got to said room, I understood: what he meant; it looked as though it was raided by a drunken caveman. It took my friend and I almost an hour to clean it up completely. At least the "caveman" left a $2.00 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 117

Agony Aunt

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 21:00 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, just because I have mental health issues doesn’t mean I’m the god of mental health issues. I don’t know everything. But everyone thinks I do. I want to help but it takes a piece out of me every time someone sends me someone hurting. Yes I help them, but it hurts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 218

Deluxe Memory Man

By St Steven - 15/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 237

Mammy's boy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 22:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 167

Hell hath no fury

By child of a crazed women - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Halethorpe

Today, it's my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 044

You deserved it 3 017

Divorced dad energy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 07:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I had to purchase an app to communicate with my ex-wife. She's too stupid to figure out how to unblock me in Hotmail so we can coordinate kid schedules. She is a control freak and regularly blocks/unblocks me depending on the time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 219

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 13:00

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 263

The hunt is on

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, it's Easter Sunday and from what I can hear, my neighbors invented a very special kind of Easter egg hunt. Maybe they hid them in the walls and furniture? Because getting at them sure seems to involve power tools. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 140

Preemptive strike

By youngblood - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 167

You deserved it 4 909

Cartoonish

By You knock me off my feet - 13/04/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, it's so windy, I actually fell over and nearly flew into the street the moment I walked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 158

Dead in the water

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 00:00

Today, my marriage must be over. We just spent a week in Paris, the most romantic city in the world, and we never left our hotel room. Not because of constant sex but because my wife couldn’t be arsed to get dressed, be romantic or anything. She sat on her tablet watching Netflix IN FUCKING PARIS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 167

Help yourself

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 22:00

Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 100

Skincare

By frustrated - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Gosport

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 134

You deserved it 5 047

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 457

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 22:00 - Taiwan - Taichung

Today, I had a job interview at Walmart. They showed a video of me stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 1 969

You little git!

By My cat is a dick - 13/04/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had peed all over my coffee table, and more specifically on my laptop, completely ruining it. When I confronted her, she looked at me with what I can only describe as a smug expression, as if to say, "You're not the boss of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 642

I'm an empath

By S Edhouse - 13/04/2023 22:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, and ever since my wife has gone onto birth control pills for her endometriosis, her time of the month now lasts for three weeks each month out of the four, and on the fourth week she gets pains and doesn't feel like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 224

Having a whale of a time

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 10:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my boyfriend is packing up his apartment and my parents have gone to a seminar, but I can’t complain about being lonely during the Easter holidays. I'm being kept company by a hundred industrious ants, a very loud cat, and an enthusiastic Aunt Flo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 154

Needs

By Kelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Roseville

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 3 444

Lightweight

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 128

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 996

Welcome to the funhouse

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 02:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, my brother and I moved out of an apartment into a new one. We both have ADD. Whatever you now imagine what that went like, yes, it exactly went like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 196

Pumped up

By Macey Brietenback - 13/04/2023 00:00

Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 152

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 9 654

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I had my first encounter with a guy I met online. When we parted, I was hoping for a kiss but instead he says to me, "I've met stupid in my life, but never like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 692

Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long time, but as I also needed to go, I went to check on him. He was trying to urinate into the condom, “just to see what it was like.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 89

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 727

You deserved it 3 201

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 800

You deserved it 3 599

Today, I realized that when someone's pregnant or introduces me to their kids, they're saying, "I had sex with this person" and now I can’t stop visualizing it. Keep me out of your personal life, Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 1 366

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 200