Cats

What was that?

By Meow - 30/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the task of picking up her cat from the vet. As I carried him out, I heard a really deep and scary noise that caused me to drop the pet taxi with him in it. Then I heard it again, more loudly this time. Turns out that's what his meow sounds like. He never meows, so I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 174

False advertising

By Anonymous - 29/01/2024 22:00 - France

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked my phone into the toilet. As I fished it out, soaking wet, I thought, "Well, at least it's water-resistant." Turns out, my phone wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 250

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Her happy place

By RIP - 26/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 109

Fur babies

By Sad cat owner - 25/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to adopt a cat with little success since my last one died. My other cat, who had grown attached to him when she realized he was dying, has been lazier and more prone to seeking attention than before since he passed away. I now know cats can suffer from depression. I feel bad now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 130

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 2 483

Miss you

By RIP - 20/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I went on Roblox and logged onto Work At A Pizza Place for the first time in almost a year. I ended up spending a decent amount of time crying because I forgot my pet in the game is modeled after my cat, who died four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 174

Catfight

By Invaded - 18/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 282

Hangry boy

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 135

Grey sweater gang rise up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, my partner and I went over to my mum’s for dinner. She’s not a formal person, so he wore a black fleece sweater. It was a nice, relaxed evening, until we got home and I had to attack him with the lint roller for what felt like half an hour. Yes, my mom has cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 172

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I heard the cat flap so I called out, “Hello my darling!” When the noise continued but no cat appeared, I went to check and it turned out that "My darling“ was a rat that had just figured out the mechanism and was working up the courage to come in and steal my chicken feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 126

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 07/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 170

Insensitive

By WTF?! - 04/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I was the designated emotional support person for my friend's mom as she went to have her sick cat put down. The cat was aggressive towards the male vet. She said, "She doesn't like men" to which the vet replied, "Well, soon that won't be a problem." The willpower it took both of us to not yell at him, or worse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 273

Time to go wireless

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 355

You deserved it 3 480

Tasty snack

By hank - 01/01/2024 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was babysitting my neighbour's six hamsters. My cat got in the room and opened the cage. I came home to no hamsters in sight and a very satisfied looking cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 661

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 113

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 171

Harbinger of doom

By Harbinger of feline death - 06/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 121

Stank face

By Tour guide for a day - 02/12/2023 04:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 579

I'm not worthy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 18:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 157

Feline support

By Chrissi - 23/11/2023 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 894

Caturday surprise!

By Cats...FML - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 610

You deserved it 3 424

Fundies

By CatOwner - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 267

You deserved it 3 383

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 718

Typical bad day

By Fred - 08/11/2023 16:00

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 148

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 982

A bit too many Fall vibes

By ppppp - 26/10/2023 20:00

Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 435

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 177

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 464

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 147

Congratulations. You played yourself.

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 121

Today, after submitting a work order to our landlord due to our dishwasher being “broken”, my roommate and I found out there is a wrong way to put dishwasher pods in. We’re both 25 and have gone our whole lives not knowing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 866

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 989

You deserved it 9 594

Today, I learnt my boyfriend has just been using me for character development for the last 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 146

Today, I ran into a childhood friend for the first time in years. It turned out her mother died of COVID a few days ago. It was heartbreaking to see her close to tears all the time we talked, but due to distancing I couldn't even hug her to make her feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 161