Kids, Painful and Gun control: 1, 2, 3… FIRE! - FML

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 15 252

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Same thing different taste

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 7 130

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 18:39 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 73 582

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 260

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 204

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 763

You deserved it 9 137

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 5 287

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 887

You deserved it 3 555

Next

Top comments

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:07

blue balls!

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:19

Should've torn off your boxers and charged at them.

Comments

OneBigMessUp 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:29

Ouch!

joshswensoon15 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:35

Op you my friend should take revenge!

catharsis5 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:36

It could be worse. You could be wearing a very expensive outfit.

thisguyy12 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 10:51

You must not be a guy

catharsis5 9

Tuesday 11 October 2011 8:03

I'm a girl... a very practical and tomboyish girl but a girl nonetheless. You want to check out my makeup collection?

Legendslayer222 26

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:42

Just make a bazooka that shoots whole tins of paint as projectiles. After being smacked in the face by a tin and being soaked in paint, they will not bother you again!

StopDropNRoll 11

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:18

I hope that's cause they're scared not because they're swimming with the fishes :s.

Gruv3r14 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 21:00

GIANT PVC CANNON!

LizzJizz 16

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:45

Lol hey atleast there was no way in hell they could ruin ur clothes if ya didnt have anything on really aside from the boxers

WHITE3TIGER 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:10

paintballs don't ruin clothes they come out with water scense all paint balls are water based so if he was in a suit all he had to do was wash it and he be fine

yourlifesfucked 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:48

Except if he were in nice clothing, ie a suit, there's a good chance it would be dry clean only. Yeeeaaah...

Petal23 11

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:12

my guess is that you do this on a regular basis and that the neighbourhood kids finally had enough and decided to retaliate. after all, there is a limit to how much one has to look at unappealing bodies.

laurenzo16 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:13

Where were you going with JUST your boxers on!?

lokrar789 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:40

Ur pic goes well with your ccomment

Black_Letter 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:48

I think he was going to the local IHOP.

AlejandraaxD 0

Friday 12 August 2011 0:11

To get the mail, of course.

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 3:59

26- the gas station, totally

deathtrap 0

Friday 12 August 2011 5:28

he was going to bone the neighbors wife. also known as the kids mother.

dumaz 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:27

time to get the glock out

perdix 29

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:00

Exposing yourself to a bunch of kids will be considered more serious crime than the assault on you.

dumaz 2

Saturday 13 August 2011 7:58

Thats not what I meant ??

haiu2323 10

Thursday 11 August 2011 13:39

You set yourself up, dude...their intelligence has studied your habits for the last few months and it's action time! hopefully none hit your balls!

hillary6 15

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:21

Unlucky

beetboxboy 9

Friday 12 August 2011 6:18

Yeeeaaaaahhh

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Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 190

You deserved it 25 156

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I get as much time with the woman of my dreams as I do with my children: One day, every two weeks. She lives with me. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 183

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 170

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 188

You deserved it 5 040

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 762

You deserved it 18 698