Kids, Painful and Gun control: 1, 2, 3… FIRE! - FML

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 15 253

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Same thing different taste

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 7 130

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 18:39 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 73 582

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 260

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 204

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 763

You deserved it 9 137

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 5 287

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 887

You deserved it 3 555

Next

Top comments

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:07

blue balls!

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:19

Should've torn off your boxers and charged at them.

Comments

hi5534 3

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:51

now get the 12 gauge and call them back >:D

DistanceNow 0

Friday 12 August 2011 8:50

Thats what I did few.weeks back!!!! I walked outside, saw kids shooting, back inside for my 12 ga. Loaded with flechet shells and unloaded. I didnt get in trouble though cause TEXAS LAW IS AWESOME.

xGolBLiiN 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:57

I am a big paintball player on a team and all and what i know is that paintball in public like that is illegal and also it hurts!

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:10

lol i know how that feels

buttercupp2137 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:17

This is why my sister will never get one.

Friaza 29

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:49

Check Mate.

GoneClubbin 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:50

why... did you walk outside in your boxers?

beetboxboy 9

Friday 12 August 2011 6:21

He likes the breeeze

Daederoth 10

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:05

This is the closest posting between FYL and YDI I've seen.

ArsenalFan12 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:23

the solution is easy. run!

flipnazn 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:25

Is it normal for you to be around kids in your underwear?

Hald 10

Thursday 11 August 2011 20:57

What kind of sick parent allows kids to play with "guns"?? War isn't funny, why entertain your kids with war-games?

twisted54 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 22:50

To get them prepared for the revolution. Geez...

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The Top

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 6 059

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 401

You deserved it 4 295

The Top

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 864

You deserved it 2 923

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 809

You deserved it 331

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 194

You deserved it 39 382

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 6 175

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. We yelled for 20 minutes and then he put his hands on my neck. Once we'd calmed down, he explained he wanted to strangle me like Homer does Bart, but didn't follow through. This all started when I asked if he read a text I sent earlier in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 161

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 915

You deserved it 4 481