Intimacy: Alarmed

Alarmed

By oops - 29/07/2015 06:15 - United States

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 663

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 750

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 4 019

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By fmlfmlfml - 10/07/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 888

You deserved it 60 985

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 125

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 958

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 3 230

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 8 945

Baseless assumptions

By afafakfhsg - 19/02/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 387

You deserved it 12 105

illusionay 10

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:51

At least he cares about you

Wolfipoo 31

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:52

Sucks to be you OP, but seriously, be more careful and check next time.

Comments

illusionay 10

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:51

At least he cares about you

Murilirum 23

Wednesday 29 July 2015 18:34

It's one of those 'embarrassingly cute' kind of situations.

Gwyddone 29

Wednesday 29 July 2015 19:52

Same thought here, I'd feel equal parts embarrassed and loved. Awkward situation, sure, but at loves her little brother loves OP...

trollcrusher 17

Thursday 30 July 2015 3:50

Hopefully OP was touched by her brother's caring attitude... even if that wasn't the sort of touch she was hoping for.

RustlingSoul 26

Friday 31 July 2015 23:46

that doesn't sound right, 80.

Wolfipoo 31

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:52

Sucks to be you OP, but seriously, be more careful and check next time.

youngmessi252525 20

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:52

Why wouldn't you check first, ydi

memed_fml 17

Wednesday 29 July 2015 16:57

op did check.. just not well enough

pedopears 18

Wednesday 29 July 2015 17:01

#20 I bet OP pulled the same face as your profile picture..

WordBea 23

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:52

Shouldn't you at least check before assuming no ones home?

lurker_no_more 13

Thursday 30 July 2015 9:07

it doesn't say anywhere in the fml that she assumed that..

LeashaJoy5595 28

Friday 31 July 2015 10:53

Assuming always leads to very bad consequences! Always check before you get loud

EliGolsdworthy 7

Tuesday 17 May 2016 0:47

It's implied

fahadleo66 9

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:53

Get some locks in your room.

devildog562 33

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:54

"Why you breathing so hard ?" " why are you hurting my brother ." So many possible outcomes could have arose from this and I thank you,op , for making me laugh so much in the moaning, I mean morning .

MassiDelta 28

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:55

If your door has a lock, then YDI, but if your door doesn't, then maybe try being more quiet

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 27 May 2018 21:36

They thought no one was home. Why would they?

Bleublancrouge_fml 13

Wednesday 29 July 2015 15:56

Bitch, he was very nice, be glad you have an awesome brother like that. And be respectful of your family next time. No sex when people are here. It's like...the least you can do, because people WILL here you.