Embarrassing, Sleep, Dreams and Cute: Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

By MadMax - 16/07/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 525

You deserved it 5 362

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 162

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 3 066

By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 100

You deserved it 2 820

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 726

You deserved it 4 401

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 865

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 556

You deserved it 7 958

Freaked out

By ADanceWithDavos - 07/07/2014 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 019

You deserved it 4 626

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 13 979

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.

montgomery634 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:02

hahaha that's really funny

Comments

boogersyum 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 6:37

Nobody cares.

aiezaiza 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 0:01

So what if the author didn't witness WW3 or accidentally kill his Mum or cheat on his girlfriend or whatever, it's still funny and that's what this site is all about :) And I like ducks :)

seadrick 2

Sunday 19 July 2009 8:19

Absolutely epic. You made my day lmao!

Mancubus 2

Monday 20 July 2009 8:16

Sounds like a deleted scene from Alice in Wonderland

Sucks2beYouxD 0

Monday 20 July 2009 13:41

Ahahahahahahhaha!! Omg I can't stop laughing hahahahahahahaha!!!! This is not FML, but I'm faving this one!

Erinn1395 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 12:10

Rotflmao! That made my day!

newmom09 0

Friday 24 July 2009 6:32

This is amazing! I have a couple of stories like that. Like, how I evidently was singing in my sleep (or trying to, and sounding really country . . . like, Appalachian southern country-bluegrass). And another is when my friend and fellow piano major was freaking out about memorizing a piece for her jury (final, essentially) and was trying to tell her roommate to put the piece into the microwave, because she needed copies of it in her sleep.