Animals, Cats and Cute: Apex predator

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Apex predator

By PaulineIsHere - 06/10/2024 20:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 123

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Same thing different taste

By allykat - 03/12/2014 00:56 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 317

You deserved it 5 711

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 296

You deserved it 3 688

By bels12 - 05/01/2010 05:15 - Australia

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 917

You deserved it 9 351

Cats can do anything, but they have to want to

By Thankful I wear glasses - 29/06/2021 19:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 298

Scaredy cat

By Luke - 15/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 219

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 28 647

Don't touch me

By Drama - 10/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 125

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 948

You deserved it 7 330

By Bad Cat - 29/05/2019 14:00

Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 281

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 364

poopface82 19

Sunday 6 October 2024 21:01

Is he orange? Because that would explain everything.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 7 October 2024 4:57

He was just high on the catnip LOL

Comments

poopface82 19

Sunday 6 October 2024 21:01

Is he orange? Because that would explain everything.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 7 October 2024 4:57

He was just high on the catnip LOL

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The Top

Today, my husband turned down a six figure job offer because he thinks it will be too difficult to learn to speak German. German is my native language, he already speaks some German from being married to me for 16 years, but somehow becoming fully fluent isn’t worth 6 figures to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 109

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 428

The Top

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 377

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 67 507

Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 145

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 570

You deserved it 3 119

Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 111

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 268

You deserved it 6 810