Animals and Cats: Don't touch me

Don't touch me

By Drama - 10/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 52

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 319

Hissing booth

By Carey - 03/09/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 274

My little dude

By Jenni - 17/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a routine check-up. The vet asked if my cat was stressed at all, so I confidently replied, "No, he's a pretty chill little dude." That's when my cat decided to hiss and spit his way to the top of the shelves on the other side of the examination room. He's not as chill as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 151

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 333

You deserved it 6 048

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 855

You deserved it 4 625

Cats and Cars

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:49 - United States - Dublin

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 5 918

Cat mojo

By Oww - 09/08/2022 00:00

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 166

Catfight

By Invaded - 18/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 283

Book it!

By Kiera Ayala - 08/06/2019 12:00

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 322

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 638

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Keywords

Sex Intimacy Love Health Kids Parents Cute Hair Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Embarrassing Money Annoying Scams Work Awkward Skincare Insects Cats Animals Neighbours First Dates Dating Students Alcohol Fight Miscellaneous AITA Parenting Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 681

You deserved it 536

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 120

You deserved it 3 239

The Top

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 448

You deserved it 4 437

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 628

You deserved it 6 014

Today, I asked my 'friend with benefits' if she'd consider actually dating me regularly. She said yes, but only if I joined the Republican Party, because she "would never date anyone who didn't fight for morality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 890

Today, via legal bollocks, I got nothing from my husband in the divorce, even though he cheated on me. On my wage, I can’t afford to live in this area anymore, so I have to move and quit my job to get another job wherever I end up moving. This is why people hate lawyers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 310

Today, my husband is leaving me because he did a paternity test on our 4 year-old daughter and found out she’s not his. The night of my bachelorette party I drunkenly hooked up with two men so I don’t know who the father is. He doesn’t understand that I was drunk and that family isn’t about blood, it’s about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 2 171

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 782

You deserved it 54 779