Intimacy: Are you experienced?

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 9 422

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Same thing different taste

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 747

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 427

You deserved it 764

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 3 908

By noweddingforyou - 29/09/2013 19:21 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 7 660

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 12 446

Disproportionate response

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 4 625

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 7 411

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 1 457

KingCeltic77 18

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

That's really shitty.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D

Comments

doglover569 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:13

She is subtle about what she wants, huh?

beemo23 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:15

yo slap her next time. man butt is for pooping:3

shadexilmaendu 4

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:15

Open Mindedness can go a long way. It's 2012, who hasn't fooled around with prostate stimulation?

Ge0rger0kz 5

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:18

By awkward you meant turned on right?

charvisioku 22

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:19

There are too many judgemental people on FML... *sigh*

catwomanRAWR 0

Saturday 9 June 2012 18:10

and somehow men think girls enjoy objects being stuck up their butt...

Gustaborios 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:37

Whats her number

etester 5

Thursday 14 June 2012 0:48

Is that the same thing you told her the first time you wanted to try anal with her?

j3ebrules 13

Friday 15 June 2012 8:15

Then she did it wrong.

kelly352 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 5:58

Nasty bitch

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol AITA Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 298

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 304

You deserved it 6 440

The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 947

You deserved it 7 380

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 566

You deserved it 1 421

Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 267

You deserved it 565

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 5 604

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 829

You deserved it 4 615

Today, my grandmother got my future mother in law's phone number somehow. She managed to upset her so much that my fiancé now wants to call off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 809

You deserved it 916