Health: Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...

By gassy - 17/08/2018 18:30

Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 893

You deserved it 243

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 02:46 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 3 515

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 133

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 150

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 218

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 1 892

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 145

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 9 663

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 941

You deserved it 4 191

Bad day

By meranda_johnson - 13/12/2012 08:58 - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 836

You deserved it 2 555

DMA 11

Friday 17 August 2018 18:52

No big deal, OP. I’m sure you can find a great deal on a buttplug that goes with formal attire.

interesting33 36

Tuesday 7 August 2018 3:36

Ah the lesser known art of snarting.

Comments

interesting33 36

Tuesday 7 August 2018 3:36

Ah the lesser known art of snarting.

wanted_2_want 40

Friday 17 August 2018 18:43

If you could do it at will you maybe able to do it in concert. LOL

DMA 11

Friday 17 August 2018 18:52

No big deal, OP. I’m sure you can find a great deal on a buttplug that goes with formal attire.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 17 August 2018 21:19

It wouldn’t be so bad if you knew it would always be just a fart. You know what would be funny? If you shit yourself. I guess it wouldn’t be funny for you.

Davros 12

Friday 17 August 2018 22:29

If you do, own it. Laugh once and keep going with your speech. Practice your speech even after you know it by heart.

Cole Manson 10

Saturday 18 August 2018 5:56

So literally every time you sneeze or cough you fart? And it's audible? If you have a coughing fit you just fart until it's over? Wonder how that happens.