Intimacy: Brutally honest

Brutally honest

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 2 920

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Weird flex, but OK

By incestastic - 14/08/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 480

You deserved it 3 067

Oh no…

By probably_the_ex_now - 18/08/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy, and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 964

You deserved it 97 569

By Anonymous - 12/01/2015 02:41 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 082

You deserved it 3 315

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 15:20 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 822

You deserved it 4 684

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 816

You deserved it 4 351

By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 290

You deserved it 3 736

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 564

You deserved it 56 763

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 676

You deserved it 2 772

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 465

You deserved it 2 866

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 07:09 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 812

You deserved it 5 591

G0DL1K3D3V1L 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:02

Wow, that's harsh. I hope him sleeping with your sister was before you two got together. But based on the FML, perhaps not.

mrda 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:20

Oooo pimpin lol

Comments

thefmlmo 2

Monday 14 September 2009 4:53

PWNED! :)

RebecaD 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 20:06

Agreed with #12, Go **** his brother, if he doesn't have, his best friend and even do worse, do it on his room! Revenge sometimes is the solution

bigcrazymike 6

Thursday 17 September 2009 4:18

PWNT! and I also slept with your sister.

Dynoblaze 1

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:45

what he should have said to your mom is "not as good as her sister, but can I **** you and where her sister got those bedroom skills?"

eatyurbrains 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 8:19

What happened when he woke up? After he said that I would have punched him the face.

Mcknight_fml 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 1:52

at least ur not dating an idiot anymore so be happy and screw his brother

FYLFTW 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:55

You aren't as good as your sister, but your sister is nothing compared to your mom. Damn, what a fine piece she is.

Foamy980 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 1:31

I'd drop his ass like a rock. And drop kick my sister If she did that to me.

MizuWolf 3

Sunday 19 June 2011 9:01

I would probably be to upset and killing them if that happened.

LilToonchiii 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:13

maybe if you were better...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 10 418

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, I went out with my kids to eat at a nice restaurant. While I was in the bathroom, my 7-year-old daughter ordered 15 plates of "pearls" on the menu. Those "pearls" turned out to be salmon caviar. Guess who got a 425$ bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 956

You deserved it 2 643

Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 083

You deserved it 1 030

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 492

You deserved it 4 180

Today, I spent a full two minutes doing nothing but sniffing my computer. Don't worry, it was in the living room and my roommate definitely saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 720

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 9 090

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 418

You deserved it 8 168