Love: Catchy turn of phrase

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 363

You deserved it 61 118

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Same thing different taste

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 291

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 142

By Teddy Bear - 12/01/2019 16:00

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 573

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 239

You deserved it 1 155

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 577

Honesty

By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 473

You deserved it 35 414

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 431

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 567

You deserved it 796

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:55 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 3 316

CLINTRONxD 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:04

You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious

ohmygawdz 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:07

I bet you do, you little boinger you.

Comments

Silas_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 7:29

242 - Sorry, let me rephrase. When are any of the words in that blurb ones that one would need a dictionary to know or use.

xocassylovesyou 0

Friday 5 June 2009 7:37

Too many people are stupid, and don't think before they talk. **** the girl, for being tiny in the first place. **** your friends, for thinking the perverted thoughts they obviously thought once you said that. **** you, for saying it in the ******* first place... ---Cassy

alijacket 0

Friday 5 June 2009 11:32

LMAO. OMFG, that's priceless. And creepy.

mz200sx 0

Friday 5 June 2009 14:19

LMAO hahahahaha thats hilarious and so is #43

blue_virtue 0

Friday 5 June 2009 14:41

Pedobear would be pleased... He'd also vote FYL. But I say YDI. Gotta mind your p's and q's buddy.

ptmcg 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:28

Today I spent 2 hours writing the perfect FML, using phrases like "express to my friends", "I was enamored with", "I had encountered", and "I am, in general, attracted to petite women", but in the end I just sounded like a major doofus. FML.

ilyhunn 0

Friday 5 June 2009 23:45

this is toooo funny... my new fave fml!

amazingkate 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 2:28

you know, if you have any sort of predilection for certain types of women, you always have to be careful how you say it. it sounds creepy no matter what if you say you have a thing for short girls, asian girls, fat girls, "ethnic" girls. i've heard it all from guys and every time i think it's creepy to have such a serious "type". basically if it goes farther than hair color you should proceed with caution. trust me. TRUST me. this was a really, REALLY good example. ha ha ha ha!