Love and Work: Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation...

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 1 291

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Never do this

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 06:18 - United States - Cranford

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 416

You deserved it 3 156

By beingthebossisoverrated - 16/07/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 381

You deserved it 42 216

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 231

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 873

By okaythen - 14/08/2016 19:21 - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 5 016

By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - 27/10/2016 03:19 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 624

You deserved it 2 661

Tales of the unexpected

By Ryuga - 11/06/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 824

You deserved it 5 160

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 363

You deserved it 61 118

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 431

Wobbly

By CheddarJack89 - 01/12/2012 08:35 - United States - Manchester

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 860

You deserved it 2 488

Razell 13

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:05

On the one hand, if she's a fan of swashbuckling adventure novels, that's a pretty awesome compliment. On the other hand... oh. Nevermind!

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 2 October 2018 15:05

Aargh! I hate when that happens....

Comments

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 2 October 2018 15:05

Aargh! I hate when that happens....

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:04

At least you didn’t say she was a slot machine, y’know, a one-armed bandit.

Razell 13

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:05

On the one hand, if she's a fan of swashbuckling adventure novels, that's a pretty awesome compliment. On the other hand... oh. Nevermind!

Phillycheeze 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:43

I want to say this is a tacky tasteless comment. But I laughed at it. I like too much....lol

Catsht 11

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:41

A+ compliment, honestly.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 17 October 2018 22:47

just one thing. how the **** dod you manage that

CA_nat 9

Thursday 18 October 2018 18:27

it's all a lie

LadyRen 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:11

Don’t work, drink , and flirt, kids

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:35

I hope she didn't make you walk the plank for that comment.

Phillycheeze 20

Wednesday 17 October 2018 23:42

Dude.... You can recover from this... Take her to that new Pirate movie rated....... aarrrrrrrr

raven_of_azarath 34

Thursday 18 October 2018 0:17

Honestly, if she doesn’t take that as a compliment, she’s not worth your time. Who wouldn’t want to essentially be called a badass royal?

IAmClay 24

Thursday 18 October 2018 1:42

I’ll hand it to you, that sucks. Would love to have a follow up

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 95

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 115

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 495

You deserved it 4 245

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 580

You deserved it 2 622

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 2 667

Today, I was FaceTiming a good friend of mine from back home, telling her how good she looked and how happy I was to hear from her. My insanely jealous girlfriend snatched my phone and smashed it on the ground. I was saying my friend looked good because she'd just finished chemo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 257

You deserved it 417

Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 280

You deserved it 1 621