Intimacy: Caught red-knobbed

Caught red-knobbed

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 02:28 - France

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 30 799

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 872

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 016

You deserved it 7 503

Evil plan

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 00:01

Today, I broke my ankle jumping from a second story window. Turns out, the person my girlfriend has saved in her phone as "Mom" is her very jealous and “estranged” husband, who apparently knew about me, and was waiting on the opportunity to catch us. She giggled as I jumped out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 362

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 241

You deserved it 4 111

By nitroman64 - 30/07/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 877

You deserved it 28 294

By khaelian - 10/11/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 2 795

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 943

You deserved it 18 652

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 052

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 690

You deserved it 34 727

A touching Christmas tale

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 00:00

Today, I brought my girlfriend back to my place, but my abusive, homeless dad, who I haven’t spoken to in a year, had broken in to have sex with some woman in my front room, before both passing out on heroin. My girlfriend saw my dad's penis and drug stuff, and left me to clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 256

givants 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 10:40

hey, look T the bright side... you had sex dude, with a princess!!!

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 January 2010 9:51

Did he drive you in a car, or with a golf club? Those SEALs are legendarily tough.

Comments

angel5242 0

Monday 16 July 2012 16:14

Next time keep your u know what in your pants nd save it for at ur house but too bad bout ur ankle hope u feel better though

abbey728 16

Tuesday 14 January 2014 1:38

Have some respect for the daddy, bro.

emopankakes 5

Thursday 29 May 2014 19:03

At least you lived to tell the story.

Thebassoonist 10

Wednesday 27 August 2014 22:19

Former Navy Seal? You're megafucked hahahahah

MadJessTic 29

Friday 27 February 2015 22:48

At least you lived long enough to tell the FML!

nyf137 20

Saturday 7 November 2015 21:29

Next time, try not to disrespect a former Nave Seal in his own home...

mirhandac 2

Tuesday 21 June 2016 0:05

funny story to tell kids of relationship begins. or last. don't know detail of relationship.

dwilliams2081 10

Saturday 1 October 2016 23:02

I dont know why people are afraid of their girlfriends dads. if he hurts you for ******* his daughter then its assault which you can get him arrested for