Intimacy: Cheeky

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 233

You deserved it 3 609

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Same thing different taste

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 541

You deserved it 48 715

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 4 725

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 8 945

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 347

You deserved it 12 939

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 726

You deserved it 4 422

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 9 415

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 6 832

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 723

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

boopityboppity 11

Monday 8 March 2010 1:26

Perhaps he lent it to a friend? Or it's just a really big coincidence? Or... Yeah, he cheated on you. FYL.

YOUbeTROLLIN 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:28

if the room was dark you could've knocked out the girl he was with and just take her spot.

Comments

TruLife16 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 0:20

all you ppl are idiots maybe she crashed in a dark room and later on after the party he went in with the other girl? she probaly didnt hear them come in i dont hear shit when im passed out drunk

Igor_g5 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 1:16

Did you continue to pretend to be asleep?

albinogiraffe123 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 1:24

why would you sleep on the floor if there was a perfectly good bed right next to you?

emily420 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 1:40

i beat her ass.

chrisjones_fml 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 3:08

Oh dude, that kinda sucks big time.

S_T_F_U 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 3:24

@ #167 sugarbaby - its awfully ironic that ur callin that girl a dumb **** yet ur tha one makin out w her boyfriend..im just sayin..

LifeCanSuck789 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 6:57

Fakeeeeee!!!!!!!

mtc4ever 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 22:53

well I can see she got drunk, passed out, and he was prob with her, but seeing as how he's an ass hole, he waited till she was passed out, thought she would stay passed out while he fooled around, only to get caught.

Brontesky91 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 23:32

Wow so you were on the floor an he decided to have sex with some random person.1st I'm sure he would've notice you if he cared.2nd why were you on the floor of the room I would've passed out on the bed...3rd he's dumb to get caught. Kinda funny yet hard believe but anything can happen.