Weird, Paranoia and Miscellaneous: Chill out Deborah

Chill out Deborah

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 927

You deserved it 2 950

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Same thing different taste

By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 167

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 820

You deserved it 3 447

By Tag - 31/08/2013 04:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 985

You deserved it 2 733

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 00:20 - Australia - Spearwood

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 3 554

By absentmindedmoron - 27/09/2009 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 51 554

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 482

You deserved it 4 357

By jacks_smirking_revenge - 06/03/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 681

You deserved it 52 384

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 466

You deserved it 6 317

By walmart: first time, last time - 12/05/2013 16:37 - United States

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 180

You deserved it 14 775

Parent #1 of the Year

By no i'm sure you're a responsible parent - 09/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 212

fuzz97 23

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:16

Paranoia is a hell of a thing

challan 19

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:17

That's one too many espressos

Comments

NessieMonster188 17

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Redoxx_fml 22

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:44

But I was just checking the time!

lambda_fml 40

Sunday 17 March 2013 20:22

It also makes the quality of the comment decrease dramatically!

DocBastard 38

Sunday 17 March 2013 20:23

Nessie, I appreciated your sarcasm, but I just have to do this... its*

NessieMonster188 17

Sunday 17 March 2013 22:49

I guess some people just don't appreciate sarcasm :) And @46: I can't believe I missed that xD

gotaplanstan 28

Monday 18 March 2013 0:18

If that's true then you better get someone else to do your microing of waves too...

Plastic_Stitchez 25

Monday 18 March 2013 2:08

This made me smile

becca717 7

Tuesday 19 March 2013 13:51

no, it's * * ;D

whY402Jay 12

Tuesday 19 March 2013 16:56

What does that have to do with this post?

fuzz97 23

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:16

Paranoia is a hell of a thing

picante72 24

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:27

She is actually a spy gathering intel and a cafe diner is her cover.

annie_nk 22

Sunday 17 March 2013 21:51

If that's the case, she blew her cover in the most unsubtle way ever :P

zen1979 16

Monday 18 March 2013 1:20

Never said she was a good spy....

rogerdodgeroz 4

Monday 18 March 2013 7:03

Yeah, poor mental health affects everyone in one way or another

anonymous100000 17

Sunday 21 December 2014 5:22

OP should've gotten the manager..

challan 19

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:17

That's one too many espressos

HouseElf 13

Monday 18 March 2013 10:11

She was probably upset at OP for being a sexist and chauvinistic bastard.

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:18

Somebody's paranoid...

jaime1480 12

Sunday 17 March 2013 22:35

Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean that they aren't out to get me...

zen1979 16

Monday 18 March 2013 1:22

Who?! Me?! Are you talking about me? You are, aren't you? I knew it!!

NickaPLZ 26

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:18

Sounds like it was time to ditch that place. And the psycho madwoman.

trivel64 16

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:29

Dump her!

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:34

Wut. Error: Syntax Please re-read the FML.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sunday 17 March 2013 19:19

Someone's been smokin' the refer.

gc327072 30

Sunday 17 March 2013 20:22

I smoke that whenever I want to make references.

buddy51 23

Sunday 17 March 2013 22:22

That sounds more like someone's been smokin the crack!! Reefer would make her mellow. She's NOT mellow! Hence, it's crack and caffeine that's in the driver's seat and she's in the back seat, screeching...