Christmas, Gifts, Cleaning and Cute: Christmas hint - FML

Christmas hint

By SpongeBob - 26/12/2022 18:00

Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 1 050

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 018

You deserved it 3 969

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 01/07/2021 19:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 249

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 152

By Pissedoffwife - 07/07/2019 14:00

Today, our dishwasher broke. It's my husband's chore to do the dishes, but he refused to hand-wash them, and instead suggested we take them all up to his mother's for her to put in her dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 237

By ima nerd - 25/12/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 5 859

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By Laviolette - 23/02/2012 22:01 - France

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 211

You deserved it 39 898

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 989

A good shower

By headache - 26/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I was taking a shower when the water suddenly went cold. It spooked me so much I slipped and hit my head on the metal edge of the tub. My husband then said that I had the best Christmas gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 255

By thanksalot - 11/07/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 8 635

Next

Top comments

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 27 December 2022 1:24

Dude get a dishwasher they are amazing. Even the portable ones you just plug in and cost about $300 are an absolute no brainer.

HOT_THOT 8

Monday 26 December 2022 18:04

YDI help your wife with the household chores you shitty husband

Comments

HOT_THOT 8

Monday 26 December 2022 18:04

YDI help your wife with the household chores you shitty husband

CakeEater 15

Monday 26 December 2022 18:33

I'm sure everyone will assume you never do dishes, because people like to jump to conclusions. If you don't, YDI, if you do and you just got a shitty gift, then I suggest giving her a vacuum or something as ridiculous for her next gift 🤣

JackWood 20

Monday 26 December 2022 19:50

That's a novel way to get you to help with the dishes. Is it your first time? Is that the only gift you got?

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 27 December 2022 1:24

Dude get a dishwasher they are amazing. Even the portable ones you just plug in and cost about $300 are an absolute no brainer.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 27 December 2022 11:43

Is it possible that she earns more than you do? If so, the gift is a statement that you're sponging off of her. You'd better get those dishes nice and clean, mooch.

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 505

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 364

The Top

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 35 849

Today, the medicine I keep at my desk for headaches is now gone thanks to my coworker who took the last 6 Advil at once. Her reasoning? "You're thin, so you wouldn't need them anyway. I'm twice your size, so I needed twice the dose." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 91

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 718

You deserved it 3 951

Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 016

You deserved it 48 003

Today, at the ripe old age of 24, I briefly forgot my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 164

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 899

You deserved it 5 619