Kids, Health, Competitions and Parents: Competitive

Competitive

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 22:00

Today, my weightlifter husband is pouting because he is no longer able to lift the amounts he could a year ago. Meanwhile, our weightlifter son is fast approaching the weights my husband used to lift, and is being smug about it. It’s like living with two bears determined to be grumpy at each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 171

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Alpha

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 18:01

Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 284

Smash the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 02:00

Today, at the gym, a guy yelled at me to stop lifting more than his son, because I was embarrassing him by being a girl and lifting more. His son must have been 15 and I almost qualified for the Olympics, but sure I’ll hold back to spare the feelings of a misogynistic 15 year-old little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 186

Masculinity in peril

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, and for the past year, my boyfriend keeps wanting to arm-wrestle with me. I’m rather petite and I don’t exercise a lot, yet I’m still waiting for him to win, just even once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 133

By CreeptacularBait - 27/05/2018 19:00

Today, after over a month of running to lose weight, I can’t walk without crying from the shooting pain in my legs. My husband is upset that I won’t go to the grocery store, make his lunch, or go hiking with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 529

You deserved it 819

By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 048

You deserved it 3 386

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 849

You deserved it 9 781

Peak toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 06:00

Today, ever since he beat him in wrestling, my husband has been trying to prove he’s manlier than our son, proving only that he’s the most childish in the house. I had to put a stop to it after he tried to stand up to the PTSD-suffering veteran at the end of our street, and got put in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 136

By heartbroken - 09/09/2013 07:19 - United States - Cupertino

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 725

You deserved it 4 532

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 16:00

Today, my wife tried to forbid me from going to the gym anymore because in public she looks fat stood next to me and it’s embarrassing. She picked me up from the gym yesterday and saw all the “thin gym sluts” I prefer to spend my time with instead of her. God, I’m sick of her lazy jealous BS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 305

By Johnny - 19/12/2012 23:33 - United States - Memphis

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 436

You deserved it 8 732

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 17 April 2022 23:32

Well, I'll bet they are both excellent at comforting crying babies. Evidently, grumpiness and smugness are requisite traits for soothing infants. Who knew?!?!? It's amazing what FML teaches us.

JackWood 20

Monday 18 April 2022 0:19

That's pretty tame when it comes to the levels of insanity testosterone will drive men.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 17 April 2022 23:32

Well, I'll bet they are both excellent at comforting crying babies. Evidently, grumpiness and smugness are requisite traits for soothing infants. Who knew?!?!? It's amazing what FML teaches us.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Monday 18 April 2022 1:08

I propose they settle this with a calm-off; whoever can calm a crying infant the fastest, wins. Whiskers and tail are optional. And the winner can comfort the loser. This definitely needs a follow-up.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 18 April 2022 2:40

A calm-off got me banned from the yoga studio. I started by saying, "Namaste -- now I'm gonna relax the **** out of this thing." I trash talked the other stretchers with, "looks more like downward-facing dogshit to me." I got in their grills and said I was going to out-bliss they asses! Evidently, they did not not my competitive attitude.