Pranks, Break-ups and Love: Conspiracy of one

Conspiracy of one

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Pittsfield

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 093

You deserved it 4 845

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Top comments

Welshite 39

Saturday 26 July 2014 19:29

This is why passwords were invented.

Vedarshi 11

Saturday 26 July 2014 19:30

Teach the little brat a lesson.

Comments

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Saturday 2 August 2014 4:40

Must be bad reception.

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 12 March 2015 20:42

At least she didn't succeed.

KingEdon 4

Monday 8 February 2016 1:02

I mean, you said try, so hopefully it didn't work, and your relationship is stronger now

Perry85 42

Thursday 10 March 2016 9:12

At least the keyword here is "Tried" to break up with him, not "succeeded in"

Salzxx 11

Tuesday 27 September 2016 1:01

I read some of these FMLs and wonder what happened with some of these families, while being grateful for mine

Salzxx 11

Tuesday 27 September 2016 1:06

I read some of these FMLs and wonder what happened with some of these families, while being grateful for mine

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 711

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I had to give advice to my best friend and love of my life. What kind of advice? What to wear while on a date with some guy. We're roommates, and she wouldn't stop telling me about everything when she got home. This happens on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 970

Today, I sent my husband a bra and panties pic. He simply “Liked” it on iMessage. Yet he always comments, “Beautiful, hot, gorgeous, sexy, etc.” on bikini models he follows on Instagram’s photos, along with lovey dovey emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 322

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 601

You deserved it 3 642

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 597

You deserved it 2 680

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 016

You deserved it 12 625

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 2 840