Miscellaneous and Weird: Creepy dude - FML

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Creepy dude

By Dave - 21/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a guy in a store parking lot started yelling at me, asking if I was famous. I laughed and said, "No, I’m just a regular person." He then asked for an autograph. Not wanting to argue with crazy, I signed a note and handed it to him. He walked off, looking at the note with confusion and visibly mounting anger. I'd signed the first thing I could think of: “For my biggest fan! Sincerely, Whoopi Goldberg.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 128

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Same thing different taste

I love your work!

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was in a bodega when I spotted a celebrity I’ve had a huge crush on for years. I decided to go up and introduce myself, but instead of saying something cool, I panicked and shouted, "I love your cereal!" They looked confused, and I immediately realized I was staring at the wrong person, just someone who just looked a lot like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Radio GaGa - 27/10/2014 16:25 - Canada

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 352

You deserved it 3 162

By Dude - 19/08/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 663

You deserved it 5 037

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 067

You deserved it 7 465

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 456

Booksmart

By Lindsey - 01/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to a book signing by my favorite writer, but I was so nervous that I forgot what I wanted to say, and ended up blurting out something completely random and embarrassing about the hat they were wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 203

By elijahrobrt - 07/01/2012 06:48 - United States

Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 372

You deserved it 5 717

Straight to jail

By youtube - 03/10/2023 22:00

Today, I went up to a random stranger and said, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know you're about to make a huge mistake!" for a prank video. She had a massive meltdown and screamed at me. The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 088

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 60 998

No rizz

By blackitalian - 26/11/2010 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist, and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 159

You deserved it 31 828

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Top comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 22 March 2025 1:09

Brilliant!😂

d j mom 8

Saturday 22 March 2025 13:25

awesome hahahahaha! you rock.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 22 March 2025 1:09

Brilliant!😂

d j mom 8

Saturday 22 March 2025 13:25

awesome hahahahaha! you rock.

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The Top

Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 2 499

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 516

The Top

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 146

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 333

You deserved it 41 032

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 417

You deserved it 8 358

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 475

You deserved it 3 567

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 055

You deserved it 14 213

Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 808