Work: Crimefighters

Crimefighters

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 19:56 - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 401

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 534

You deserved it 4 239

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 205

You deserved it 2 575

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 148

Nice day for a picnic

By litterbug - 06/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 118

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 906

You deserved it 24 412

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 818

You deserved it 445

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 3 976

Bad boys bad boys

By Tom - 17/08/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 108 496

Slammer

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 294

You deserved it 3 801

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 047

You deserved it 1 813

Cheezburger_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:59

Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL

sayhello_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:00

How does bird seed dirty a suit?

Comments

Albino_Mag 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 9:44

I agree with 95. It's just seeds, they have to residue or stickiness, and most likely would just brush off. Seriously, this is NOT an FML. A majority of the FML's here are NOT FML's. More just a FMD, "**** my Day"

UsingLogic 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 9:59

Reminds me a funny story that happened to me. I was studying law in high school and our teacher made us go to a court to see what a court hearing was like. Except I did not go because I had organized to go with a friend who knew the city and knew where the court was, and that friend never met me after lunch. I also could not ask my way around since I had social phobia at the time and could not interact with strangers. Anyway, the teacher made me explain in front of the whole class why I did not show up, and I did not want them to know about my social phobia problem so I did not tell him about it. I ended up having to mop the floor of the school for six hours. So I meet the janitor, and he asks me why I'm punished (with an "I love gossip" look on his face. And he was known for being a prick with students. I knew whatever I'd tell him the entire school would know in a week). I tell him I did not show up in court. So his next question was "What did you do?". To which, confused, I replied "What do you mean?". "You had to go to court, so what kind of shit did you do?" "I nearly beat my mom to death with a tea spoon because she made me clean our apartment" (Said in a cold, very insensitive voice, like if I was simply observing "it's raining outside"). I still had to mop the floor, but the look on his face was worth the 6 hours. And unlike what he used to do to other students who got the same punishment, he did not complain that I did not make the floor clean enough or fast enough.