Work: Crimefighters

Crimefighters

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 19:56 - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 401

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 534

You deserved it 4 239

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 205

You deserved it 2 575

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 148

Nice day for a picnic

By litterbug - 06/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 118

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 906

You deserved it 24 412

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 818

You deserved it 445

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 3 976

Bad boys bad boys

By Tom - 17/08/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 108 496

Slammer

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 294

You deserved it 3 801

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 047

You deserved it 1 813

Cheezburger_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:59

Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL

sayhello_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:00

How does bird seed dirty a suit?

Comments

squigglyshark 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 21:17

You're a lawyer. Sue her ass.

BetsySnow 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 22:44

The comments on this are absolutely ignorant and astounding! How is being a lawyer akin to being a criminal? Where do you people get this incredibly FALSE information? Is only the DA a criminal, or is the Prosecutor, too? I honestly believe you all watch too much Law and Order. Also, how can you speak intelligently about an entire population of lawyers?And if you don't mind my asking, what incredibly reputable job do you all have, where you can sit on your high horse and make these comments?

johnnywhee 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:06

Actually, the comments are pretty funny. Attorneys are crooks. I know plenty of them.

NorfolkDude 2

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:36

99.99% of lawyers are tarded. Just watch those commercial about accidents and stuff. Also, look at the OP, he got attacked by an old lady and he wrote it on FML website. That should be enough of an indication on how tarded he he is.

annaofwisconsin 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:59

Yeah, because i'm sure a macho idiot like you would've totally beaten the old lady up.

Venasaysdie 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 9:23

Calling people "tarded" really drives your point home, huh, retard?

hotjewgrl101 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:21

Good 4 u bein a lawyer and all! Ur smarter and better than her so relaxxx the stain will wash iff :)

amy_shmamy 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:56

that lady's a bitch

Blue0ctane 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:12

Out of all of the FMLs on this site, this is one of the few that I believe and have compassion for. I really hope that this didn't affect the way that your case went.

padfoot_fml 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:32

tell the dumb bitch (calling her a bitch because she is one not because she's a girl) that if she'd pull her head out of her ass for a moment she might realize that you're a lawyer and that's why you have court.

Pedestrian 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:02

My father is a lawyer, and it's a pretty ******* stressful job. Don't worry about all these piss-suckers that think all lawyers are stupid, they're just ignorant.