Work: Crimefighters

Crimefighters

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 19:56 - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 400

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 531

You deserved it 4 239

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 147

Nice day for a picnic

By litterbug - 06/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 118

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 901

You deserved it 24 409

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 817

You deserved it 445

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 3 976

Bad boys bad boys

By Tom - 17/08/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 108 485

Slammer

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 290

You deserved it 3 800

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

Cheezburger_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:59

Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL

sayhello_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:00

How does bird seed dirty a suit?

Comments

FLMlova 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 14:43

i would have used some language to that b!tch and sent her my dry cleaning bill (i would have actually attacked the b!tch then and there but that wouldnt have looked good as a lawyer)

rocketdog 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 15:39

Smack that hoe, and make her feel guilty

timepass 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:24

Really dude, you are a LAWYER and you just didnt have the balls to give a nasty speech to a nasty lady and you call that thing inside ur head brain?

xOpheliacx 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:33

So you should've told her so and made her feel like the total bitch she is.

leoofbodom 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:01

whats wrong with that? if i was you id have a good rant to her about how youre a lawyer and shes a beep beep beep.. and have a good time doing it.

lalala37_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:28

i would of smacked that hoe!

milenavessylo 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:54

SUE HER!!!! YESSSSSS

Orangeman69 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:22

dude that sux your sits jacked up but who gives a **** what she thinks of you... shel die soon anyway and you probably wont see her again

PotatoBlankey39 2

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:34

You should of just explained to her that your a lawyer and that you work with the court on the positive side of the law. The old lady would have felt pretty stupid for calling you a criminal after you explained that you are a lawyer. Right as she's feeling stupid, you then should have explained how throwing birdseed at someone is considered harassment and how she could be taken to court for that. Sorry she dirtied your new suite