Love, Awkward and Intimacy: Dick move

Dick move

By facepalm - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 4 537

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Top comments

muffinXmonster 12

Monday 27 February 2012 15:50

Must have been a lengthy conversation.... ;)

spekledworf 18

Monday 27 February 2012 15:46

First measurement was probably 4 inches.... retake was required

Comments

emilycardona7 18

Wednesday 5 February 2014 18:13

Rip his dick off

xerbrus 14

Friday 7 February 2014 0:38

Omg i just literally rolled on the floor laughing was not expecting to read that

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend to stand up for himself more often. He now takes very hard stances on his desire for anal sex and his love for the Star Wars Disney+ series. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 440

Today, after there was only one family that hated me enough to beat me up when we were kids, and we still don't get along as adults, my youngest brother is now dating into that family, and one of my older brothers is dating into that family too. It's like some kinda sick curse, or karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 139

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 368

You deserved it 2 973

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 4 814

Today, like every other day, if you are sick before or during work, you immediately get sent to get COVID tested. I don’t think my sickening pregnancy hormones need COVID testing, just fresh air away from my coworker who has sulfur running through his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 137

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 162

You deserved it 4 761