Love, Awkward and Intimacy: Dick move

Dick move

By facepalm - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 4 540

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Top comments

muffinXmonster 12

Monday 27 February 2012 15:50

Must have been a lengthy conversation.... ;)

spekledworf 18

Monday 27 February 2012 15:46

First measurement was probably 4 inches.... retake was required

Comments

mikeg2810 2

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:19

Poopey doop

1ManBrigade 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:22

That awkward moment when...

Akharr01 5

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:28

Fly on the wall(;

CRC_101 31

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:38

You can always grab a ruler and answer the question yourself. Case closed?

cheaptrix 6

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:47

It must of been hard to talk to him

babyshaft408 8

Tuesday 28 February 2012 1:12

Is it big enough

Ashleyzzz 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 1:13

Dam i'm getting turned on. Better visit omegle or a bar

bearjtbear 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:08

You should memorize his measurements that way he won't have to do that.

Broken_angel_97 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:12

maybe hes trying to grow it???

perdix 29

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:18

Centimeters, FTW! Most guys can get into the double digits.

CrazyShayn 0

Thursday 1 March 2012 21:55

What about kilometers?

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 760

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 345

The Top

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 94

Today, I logged onto Tinder to see if I had any messages. I had one: "Get off Tinder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 927

You deserved it 1 668

Today, my coworker touched me inappropriately. I reported it to HR, and all they said was, "Do you want to talk to a therapist?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 134

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 538

You deserved it 6 184

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 172

You deserved it 476

Today, my soon-to-be-ex saw me cleaning my creases with a wash rag, even though I’d showered earlier. To him that’s proof that I'd fucked someone else and was wiping away the evidence. To me it’s proof that I need touch ups throughout the day so I don’t stink. I sweat profusely and it’s over 90°F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 173