Love: Dig it

Dig it

By anidiotskeeper - 12/07/2012 06:03 - United States - Hawthorne

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 3 079

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By carmelita - 16/07/2009 15:09 - Singapore

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 59 733

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By brokeandhungry - 04/07/2013 05:18 - United States

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 4 792

Go for it, Susan!

By NotHungryAnymore - 01/03/2016 15:46 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boss is now so comfortable with me that she doesn't even try to hide the fact that she goes digging for gold in her nose through every conversation we have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 821

You deserved it 1 366

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 4 651

My precious

By Qoqo - 14/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 107

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 224

By B'Dawk - 14/10/2018 13:30

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 1 694

Fill those slots!

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 02:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 111

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

KBeatz 5

Thursday 12 July 2012 12:02

Join her, the value of gold only keeps rising!

j4gerb0mblitz 6

Thursday 12 July 2012 12:04

Well you came for the booty didn't you?

Comments

toughchick14 15

Friday 13 July 2012 20:55

At least your girlfriend knows the value of gold!!!!!

jeansltp 7

Friday 13 July 2012 21:34

Hey she could find something!

dmigedcnbprtty 5

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:41

Just wait till she finds some-you wont be laughing then:)

EmmyGirl1426 0

Saturday 14 July 2012 1:04

She's a keeper!

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 1:09

So what? Stop trying to be so realistic. It makes you boring.

simonepedretti 7

Saturday 14 July 2012 3:20

Lol how does he deserve this whoever put ******* YDI

tiffanydarling 0

Saturday 14 July 2012 11:35

That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

drayloon 50

Saturday 14 July 2012 17:54

Never mess with a golddigger lol

TheLoneTurnip 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 1:01

Well I AM sayin' she a gold digga!

laylay33 6

Sunday 15 July 2012 4:38

And that's worse thank picking her nose...?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 157

Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 141

You deserved it 1 951

Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 182

Today, I was at a restaurant with a friend when she said, "Oh, I have to arrange a meet up between you and a friend. She's just your type: she has daddy issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 172

Today, I’m so broken and poor that I look forward towards my one free meal in my shelter just so I can have a conversation with people and act like I’m happy, and see another smile. I wish I could have more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 4 902