Intimacy: Dirty minds

Dirty minds

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 12:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 049

You deserved it 8 438

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Same thing different taste

Looking good

By Kbizz - 03/06/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 574

You deserved it 32 401

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 850

You deserved it 13 645

By ouchouchouch - 28/03/2012 04:16 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 526

You deserved it 9 041

By lostbandana - 03/07/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 350

You deserved it 3 950

By High school senior - 31/08/2017 23:15

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 728

You deserved it 956

Ouch

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 06:08 - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 843

You deserved it 37 052

By wowawesome - 18/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 364

Piercing wit

By piercingfreak - 28/08/2011 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 878

You deserved it 4 126

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 440

By ouch - 24/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Sterling

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 351

You deserved it 3 319

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:21

Shes should know.

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:22

WTF MOM!?!?! Moms always say shit at the wrong time...

Comments

stosborn 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 10:11

I hole (get it) heartedly agree with number 1,23, and 30

dyld921 2

Tuesday 19 May 2009 10:47

"Today, my mother made an euphemism about sex. FML"

eveningninja 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 14:04

Hahah.

spamme 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:33

there´s no wrong hole!

yarbitchyar 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 20:32

she "proceeded to say"? how about she just ******* said it!

happychappy 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 23:29

lol.. don't worry, u will probably never see those guys again

AskMeAnything 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:21

everyone look at my profile for advice! click my name

LaTuaCantante 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:07

ahahahahahaahahaha! if id heard that id be like 0,.,0 LOL! THATS WHAT SHE SAID =D

dinosaurs4sale 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:27

lmfao, that's funnyy...

itsgen 16

Wednesday 20 May 2009 7:55

eww im glad ive never had any conversation like that lol i hope she got what you really meant

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 1 069

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car's faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine, and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 543

You deserved it 4 219

The Top

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 433

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 368

Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 358

Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 118

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 136

You deserved it 4 800

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 645