Intimacy: Dirty minds

Dirty minds

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 12:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 056

You deserved it 8 439

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Same thing different taste

Looking good

By Kbizz - 03/06/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 575

You deserved it 32 402

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 850

You deserved it 13 646

By ouchouchouch - 28/03/2012 04:16 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 9 042

By lostbandana - 03/07/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 354

You deserved it 3 950

By High school senior - 31/08/2017 23:15

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 731

You deserved it 957

Ouch

By Anonymous - 24/05/2014 06:08 - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 844

You deserved it 37 056

By wowawesome - 18/07/2019 16:00

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 365

Piercing wit

By piercingfreak - 28/08/2011 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 880

You deserved it 4 127

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 113

You deserved it 441

By ouch - 24/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Sterling

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 354

You deserved it 3 319

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:21

Shes should know.

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:22

WTF MOM!?!?! Moms always say shit at the wrong time...

Comments

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:22

WTF MOM!?!?! Moms always say shit at the wrong time...

ChantelRenaeee 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:25

giggity

plexico 3

Monday 18 May 2009 20:23

It probably made the men in the car hot for your mom, not you!

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:21

Shes should know.

abcnonamecba 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 5:19

ur a failure hahaha I'm still laughing at u

abcnonamecba 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 5:20

hahahahahahahahahaha

matt5217 4

Monday 19 July 2010 0:57

owned

SmallTownCutie 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 21:35

omg #1 just made my day(:

Palirose 22

Thursday 29 September 2011 7:53

LOL!

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:28

It would have been more awesome if a guy had then walked up to you and introduced himself.

StaticDown 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 15:37

If it was the crush... Typical highschool scenario... She's lucky she didn't know any of them...

skullet 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:21

OUCH!!!

020266t 5

Saturday 16 October 2010 3:57

DAMN

RosarioRivera 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:27

haha! That sucks. FYL

sLap_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:40

that's what she said.

ZleveL 0

Monday 28 June 2010 9:06

that's what he said, BITCH

43trauts 14

Monday 11 July 2011 4:14

That's what both said

deaditegirl 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:43

Not an FML. Oh no. You were briefly embarrassing. Get over it.

Firetroop 0

Monday 17 May 2010 5:41

It's funny. It messes someone's day up. It qualifies. Sheesh.

deaditegirl 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:23

Oh no. You were momentarily embarrassed. Not an FML.

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 13 May 2018 20:12

That's 90% of the site...

Ilovelife07 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:48

Kinda turned on

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Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 3 392

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 107

The Top

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 513

You deserved it 4 830

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I agree, your life sucks 9 841

You deserved it 40 918

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I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 73

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 229

You deserved it 2 179

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I agree, your life sucks 34 604

You deserved it 4 030

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 305

Dirty minds

Same thing different taste

Looking good

Ouch

Piercing wit

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