Sex and Intimacy: Do that again

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 646

You deserved it 7 140

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 708

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 180

You deserved it 8 219

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 710

You deserved it 15 192

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 131

You deserved it 4 526

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 5 623

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 837

You deserved it 4 637

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 632

You deserved it 6 406

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 390

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 487

You deserved it 267

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 843

You deserved it 8 878

jake98899889 4

Monday 13 February 2012 18:59

Whatever gets the job done. Right?

grahambertus 11

Monday 13 February 2012 19:26

Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.

Comments

SealBabee 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:41

doesn't matter, had sex

redreynard 14

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:43

Today, I found out that my girlfriend can only get sexually excited when she imagines me dead and rotting. FML.

shsbrownie 3

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:48

well atleast its not a twilight vampire fetish...

causticgirl 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:55

Umm yeah, zombies are sexy. With the rotting flesh and smell of decay and all.

BubbleGrunge84 7

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:09

Nom Nom Nom ****** Nom Nom Nom

xrudeboyrock 29

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:20

I'm all for "to each his own," but this is pushing the envelope! How would one act like a zombie during that anyway?

taytay7878 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:44

Haha whatever gets the job done honey

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:27

You're a gamer aren't you?

lisha50 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:32

hdg2748 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:10

I was in a sex shop with my husband recently, and we came across, no joke, a zombie *****. I had no idea that there was a market for this...apparently there is...