Sex and Intimacy: Do that again

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 7 140

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 710

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 186

You deserved it 8 220

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 711

You deserved it 15 192

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 526

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 5 623

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 838

You deserved it 4 637

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 633

You deserved it 6 407

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 391

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 267

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 843

You deserved it 8 878

jake98899889 4

Monday 13 February 2012 18:59

Whatever gets the job done. Right?

grahambertus 11

Monday 13 February 2012 19:26

Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.

Comments

Andy_Mass4cre 0

Monday 13 February 2012 23:20

That sounds completely attractive.

hilary56 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:02

Did you really have to write a novel to explain your point?

ItsTheKing 10

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:07

If I were a girl or in any way rape worthy and I got raped but orgasmed, I'm pretty sure I have the right to complain.

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:26

Now we all know what you'd be like in a zombie apocolypse.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:42

Now return the favor, and give him good brain.

Darwin03 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:44

Coming from a person with rats as their picture.

BrysGirl27 14

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:50

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahsaahahahahahshahahaahahahahah lmao!!!!!!! Omg:,,D hahaha that was hilarious!!:p and yet sad hahah

massacreman3000 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:51

tell your boyfriend you has a new fetish, he'll probably dress the part, too!

EduJav321 24

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:58

Zombie fetish... Still better than vampires

Dcm210 19

Tuesday 14 February 2012 1:00

Zombie fetish FTW

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 108

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I wanted to sell some Jordan sneakers on OfferUp. I met up with the buyer in a parking lot. The friendly looking lady buying them said, “Thanks for the shoes, bitch!” then a guy come out, punched me, grabbed the shoes, and they both hauled ass. People saw and did nothing. There goes my kids’ Christmas gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 227

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 9 630

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 270

You deserved it 3 690

Today, I was told by both my parents that I was going to hell and had a “terrorist mentality” because I said our archdiocese deserves to go bankrupt from all their abuse cases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 120

Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 136

You deserved it 655

Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 799