Intimacy: Dodge that bullet

Dodge that bullet

By e11ie - 27/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 3 126

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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 549

You deserved it 1 516

By ananomus - 22/08/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 214

You deserved it 5 922

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 001

You deserved it 3 395

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 952

You deserved it 21 342

Ouch

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 932

You deserved it 6 294

By sunny_ca559 - 03/03/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 628

You deserved it 4 119

By wmkaz - 21/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 182

You deserved it 5 036

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 712

You deserved it 27 256

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 522

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 859

You deserved it 589

darkmis1 17

Monday 28 September 2009 1:45

woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...

MiniatureMayhem 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:54

Somebody's hungry!

Comments

jimmyjimjobobo 0

Monday 28 September 2009 3:09

you have 1 sick boyfreind lol ____________________________ www.youtube/jimmyjimjobobo123

z411811 0

Monday 28 September 2009 3:16

he probably just wants to see them bigger.

thajuggalo420 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 16:25

most likely haha

Dannie1308 11

Saturday 20 August 2016 15:28

that's what i was thinking.

HXCxSceneKidx 0

Monday 28 September 2009 3:58

Just means he loves u. And he wants to be with u forever and ever.

WonderBlunder 0

Monday 28 September 2009 4:08

You better double check the condom, especially those that he brought.

moopsy234 0

Monday 28 September 2009 4:50

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

burtonboard97 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:09

slow down their junior. ur only 12, no need to care whether boys like ur MASSIVE Double D's.

burtonboard97 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:12

no one cares about ur boob size (although now that i think about it, you probably lied) and plus u shouldn't make inside jokes because only you know what they mean

tiffanyheart 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:57

This is not your myspace page, no one cares if your friend "Lexie" is a "hoe" or not. As for the DD breasts, maybe it's just me but I count myself as lucky not having that size. Aside from back problems and sagging after awhile, I can be pretty sure the guy I'm dating does NOT just see me as a pair of ****.

jts924 0

Friday 12 February 2010 16:35

lol if you r 12 and have DDs u r most likely really fat and that's the only reason.

fringle 0

Monday 28 September 2009 5:10

I dint get it I'm slow lol

UrLuvIzMyDrug 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 6:12

Hey- I'm slow too- especially on Modays!! I HATE MONDAYS!!! And I have a shirt to prove it!

demonpudding 0

Monday 28 September 2009 5:20

This made my laugh, but seriously, FYL.

fangsupKELS 0

Monday 28 September 2009 5:26

I really really really hope your boyfriend is the same one who got his balls kicked by tickling his girlfriend. That would be such a win.

moopsy234 0

Monday 28 September 2009 5:28

fringle he was sayin that he wants her to have his baby and when she get preggo she will lactate (her boobs will grow milk and get bigger) and they have only bin seeing eachother a few months and that's way too soon for her now u get it?