Alcohol, Gross and Health: Drink up - FML

Drink up

By ugh!! - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 228 521

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Same thing different taste

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 711

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 296

Hangover

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 3 176

Gushing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 291

You deserved it 38 669

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 76 928

Wild night, huh?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 22:00

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 418

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 58 983

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 136

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 215

You deserved it 45 760

Next

Top comments

Ole_Stinker 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:48

Had you gotten out of bed you probably would have stomped on it anyway.

Dr_Phil 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:28

Wow, that was pretty stupid.

Comments

MrsHumanFrog 19

Tuesday 10 May 2016 7:15

All of that schooling and you haven't learned to put a trash can by the bed before you start drinking..... what a waste.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, my family thought it would be fun to replace my iPad with a better one while I slept. I had a project on there that I had been working on since the first day of school. They already wiped the old one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 588

You deserved it 576

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 339

You deserved it 3 317

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 623

You deserved it 28 005

Today, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. My husband and my boyfriend are both aware and are okay with it. Today they met. Not only are they okay with each other, they’ve hit it off. They've drafted a schedule of which days they want, meals, and chores for me on those days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 908

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 529