Health: Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when...

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By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 216

You deserved it 45 766

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Same thing different taste

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 371

You deserved it 35 423

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 930

You deserved it 32 607

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 733

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 169

You deserved it 4 761

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 202

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 103

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 4 213

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 997

You deserved it 394

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 124

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 3 719

Zebidee 8

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:29

Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:50

Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.

Comments

anonnie 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:59

Haha! YDI :)

jrsgreenfire257 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 15:03

Last one

dre_bro11 12

Monday 31 January 2011 12:15

*Sees 'trying'* *hits YDI*

aardvarkish 16

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:02

Score! Way to go!

missjessicaaaa 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:02

I kinda think YDI.

raha95 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

don't do that

Phustercluck 11

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

I remember my first beer.

JCHammer 5

Sunday 30 January 2011 5:03

You threw up after your first beer? Hmm must be french

littliemissmeg 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

Good job. say you have the flu :)

Bikrbum 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:08

Are you sure it was you or Eric from "That 70's Show"?

PrincessRavishin 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 9:22

win

jessxoxo28 5

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:10

wow, so much for sober

MrBond007_fml 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:14

It tends to be much easier to act sober if you actually are, ydi

bobjoefredsky 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:16

ewwwwww wtf

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Same thing different taste

Black out

Can't handle my drinks

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