Food, Insulting and Miscellaneous: Fighting talk

Fighting talk

By dempasi - 06/05/2016 18:51 - United States - Utica

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 654

You deserved it 2 546

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 54 851

By LonelyPorkChop - 18/12/2013 09:30 - Australia

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 046

You deserved it 8 761

Childish doofus

By -__- - 26/12/2015 13:41

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 397

You deserved it 3 007

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 20:55 - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 756

You deserved it 12 840

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 266

You deserved it 4 359

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 02:15 - Australia - Picton

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 045

You deserved it 5 879

Just joking, dude!

By spacemanspiff78 - 31/10/2011 15:07

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 279

You deserved it 4 226

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 198

You deserved it 3 954

By wmkaz - 21/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 5 036

BoxFullOfLazy 25

Saturday 7 May 2016 7:59

People need to learn to mind their own business.

jeffprobs 29

Saturday 7 May 2016 8:07

That's because it was funny, yes it's rude and I'm sorry it happened to you. But it's like a fall, it hurts the person who falls but it is still funny. If you were a comedian and you told me this happened to you, you would expect laughter.

Comments

meltingturtle 24

Saturday 7 May 2016 8:56

I feel bad for snickering a bit at this...

Hawks87 3

Saturday 7 May 2016 9:02

Wake up call?

fabcade 14

Saturday 7 May 2016 9:19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

metalcrazed 21

Saturday 7 May 2016 9:51

It's delicious I have no sympathy at all for it with that horrible screeching niose it makes. I could watch farm animal rights video's and just want a bacon cheeseburger.

lysx84 24

Saturday 7 May 2016 9:51

Nope, I have no empathy. What I DO have is bacon. I'm also pretty sure I have the better deal in the empathy vs bacon debate. YAY FOR PIG MEAT!!

TheShiphoo 14

Saturday 7 May 2016 11:39

I understand she laughed, holy moly! That's like the joke of the century (Be sure to spot the word "Joke" here. All for a good laugh"

SameerJain 15

Saturday 7 May 2016 12:00

My reply would've been like this : " Sorry ! but I can't stay on an empty stomach... I'm really sorry for your brothers."

Icyday 7

Saturday 7 May 2016 12:20

What is wrong with this site? They take YDI away from most posts because sometimes "people don't really deserve it" but this post is the perfect example of one that shouldn't have that choice and look it's there. But there have been other posts where it was totally YDI but the only other selection was "that could've happened to me". Can the other selection on this post be changed?

InfiniteSunshine 32

Saturday 7 May 2016 15:37

Jesus #16, did you break your arm with that reach? You know, humans also share 50% of their DNA with bananas, we have several biological similarities with them. Yet people peel their skin off and eat their insides. I mean, do you not have ANY empathy?