Love, Health, Tinder and Dating: Fitness time - FML

Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 12

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Same thing different taste

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 539

A little stiff and rusty

By Footloose - 11/09/2023 14:30

Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 111

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 906

You deserved it 8 659

By SeeTony - 19/11/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 863

You deserved it 5 522

Routine

By notsosexygirl - 21/02/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 075

You deserved it 68 630

Ran out

By Never going jogging again - 10/02/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 94

By brelni - 28/11/2010 17:17 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 210

You deserved it 4 770

Stealthy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 04:00

Today, I was on a date with a guy and we decided to go see a movie. As we were walking in, I saw my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. I tried to avoid them, but my left heel got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell face-first onto the ground. My ex and his girlfriend saw me, laughed, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 19:36 - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 244

You deserved it 10 556

High school reunions blow anyway

By Spaceballs - 27/08/2023 00:02

Today, I got an invite to my high school reunion. With visions of wowing my former classmates, I set about starting a diet and exercise regimen. The universe had other plans. On my first run out in the fields, I managed to trip over an invisible pebble, fall into a puddle, and fuck my ankle up. The only thing I'm reuniting with now is my couch and a bag of ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 208

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Keywords

Cats Gross Animals Relatable Poopoo peepee Health Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Parents Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, I'm going through a long dry spell, so I asked my ex-wife and the last woman I was intimate with how they were physically attracted to me. They started listing things like financial stability, trustworthy, safe and nice to talk to. I just wanted to be called handsome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 710

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position, saying that I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 729

You deserved it 26 540

The Top

Today, I found out that the poly relationship I was in with my husband and my boyfriend was a sham. He admitted to using me for emotional and sexual support during a rough patch, and lost interest almost five years ago. We made plans to live together and grow old with our kids. We're speechless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 229

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 709

You deserved it 2 423

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 655

You deserved it 20 285

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 273

Today, an attention-seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding without bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 114

You deserved it 2 096

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 653

You deserved it 6 439