Intimacy, Sex, Pregnancy and Cheating: Gentleman - FML

Gentleman

By Screwed - 10/07/2024 10:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 410

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

A total mess

By Madashell - 25/01/2023 23:00

Spicy

Today, the colleague who I’ve been secretly fucking told me she was pregnant. She’d lied about being on birth control. She’s mad at me because I told her to get rid of it and is giving me the silent treatment. You know who else is gonna be mad? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 5 050

By Daddy. - 17/02/2010 08:15 - Australia

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 018

You deserved it 8 344

By BabyDaddy - 30/05/2010 08:05 - Australia

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 719

You deserved it 9 803

Oops

By maybe time to adopt - 04/03/2018 15:00

Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 523

You deserved it 1 165

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 1 586

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 129

You deserved it 8 885

Tricked

By Sniffles - 26/04/2014 12:28 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend four months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 536

You deserved it 30 407

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 53 654

By jdrew32 - 04/02/2013 02:17 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Spicy

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 517

You deserved it 5 132

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 575

You deserved it 9 940

Next

Top comments

maverick83 13

Wednesday 10 July 2024 16:31

So you cheated on your wife and you're upset the woman you cheated with lied to you. 🤣

idragosani 15

Wednesday 10 July 2024 16:32

Play with fire, you'll burn your fingers.

Comments

soundsfakebutok 9

Thursday 11 July 2024 14:38

the only bitch here is you

poopface82 19

Thursday 11 July 2024 18:27

It was at this moment he knew he ****** up.

great_nate 26

Thursday 11 July 2024 19:31

You ****** around and found out.

UniUni 20

Friday 12 July 2024 1:35

Bitch, you know you have a wife and kids

wrecklesswfire 3

Saturday 13 July 2024 22:58

you had my sympathy till “wife and kids” idiot

MistressAfrodite 5

Sunday 14 July 2024 22:01

you’re cheating on your wife but she’s the bitch. okay. you’re scum.

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 249

You deserved it 6 635

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 043

You deserved it 5 367

The Top

Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 172

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 835

You deserved it 4 494

Today, I had sex with a guy on the first date. I couldn’t wait, he was too gorgeous. The only problem was that when we finished, he announced that he had to fart and did so twice. Now I’m not so sure if I’ll see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 229

You deserved it 7 115

Today, after graduating from the same program, I was offered several jobs, while my boyfriend wasn’t. He couldn’t be happy for me, saying, "She got in with the right people, and they just keep handing her jobs," and dismissing my work ethic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 160

Today, a woman I’ve liked for years falsely claimed to be strung out on crystal meth rather than just turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 148

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 868

You deserved it 2 517