Work, Teachers, Phobias and Animals: GET IT AWAY FROM ME! - FML

GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

By mottephobe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 37 394

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:05

This reminds me of that episode of Pokémon where Caterpie was all up in Misty's everything and she was completely ******* terrified of it.

yourreflection 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:04

shame on you

Comments

TomFeltonFan 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:12

lol, attack of the killer butterflies

IMveryHUNGRY 3

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:18

At least the kids had fun? haha

enonymous 8

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:19

Don't you dare smash any. Dont need another butterfly effect happening

nerdchic 5

Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:38

that def wasn't from smashing a butterfly

rudie_fml 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:25

yeah your ****** op

Frelling 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:16

No, it is not my '****** op'. Are you sure it is not yours?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:41

Haha! You're both wrong. Rudie was obviously trying to say "you ****** OP", but I have no idea who he's talking to. Certainly not me...I don't **** crazy people.

TehFMLKing 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:47

I do, crazy people are wild in bed

stevenmx86 7

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:41

Butterflies? Really?

Snackbars 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:44

At least you're not afraid of pickles. ...And you had to go on a fieldtrip to a pickle factory. There are some weird fears out there, and this one is relatively normal. But still. BUTTERFLIES. I can't think of anything less harmless.

Beowulf209 5

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:01

Slugs

Lunaa94 6

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:03

I can. Pickles.

Sprklss 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:41

lol

PassTheDutch 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 14:32

I think a pickle could kill you before a butterfly could.

mazzera_fml 7

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:47

im scared of butterflies and moths.. especially moths ewww give me a spider any day

Sprklss 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:43

Yuck, moths are so gross...maybe she means moths instead of butterflies?

applecaketree 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:45

Same here, I'm scared of moths and Daddy Long Legs *shivers*

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:47

Unlucky OP, but I don't know why, out of everything out there, you're scared of butterflies. Oh well. You remind me of a guy in the film The Cottage

_yarrrr 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:56

....it's always the butterflies you don't suspect......

WOODYfromthaBAY 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 12:57

really? butterflies?....

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Work Break-ups Love Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Engagement School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Cats Cooking Food Messy Miscellaneous Weddings Dance Embarrassing Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 472

You deserved it 9 839

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 135

The Top

Today, I told my wife I walked away from a £5000 bet I had a good chance at winning, because I refused to embarrass myself in public. She responded with a Star Trek reference, "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack, rule of acquisition 109." My god, I married a heartless nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 1 229

Today, my fancy rubber phone case did its job and saved my phone from damage when I dropped it on the bathroom counter. Unfortunately, it was rather useless after the massive bounce it took before landing in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 562

You deserved it 363

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 741

You deserved it 47 117

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 058

You deserved it 5 365

Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 062

You deserved it 312

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 685

You deserved it 11 013