Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: Get on with it, dude

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Get on with it, dude

By alpine75 - 03/05/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door. A clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was OK. I have to go back next week. FML

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You deserved it 8 543

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Same thing different taste

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 323

You deserved it 5 311

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 895

You deserved it 9 991

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 289

You deserved it 70 059

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 447

You deserved it 8 679

Prostate implies an Antistate

By artsmart1 - 06/03/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 419

You deserved it 2 949

Disorderly conduct

By Never Going Back To The Doctor - 04/07/2013 07:03 - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 780

You deserved it 12 470

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 8 673

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 851

You deserved it 219

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 536

You deserved it 3 610

By erectioninfection - 01/05/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 873

You deserved it 26 602

onelove7563 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:08

you know, you can always have the nurse come in and 'assist' you... haven't you ever seen road trip?

codesniper1313 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:03

It's just a dry spell. Drink plenty of water and you'll be spraying that jungle juice again in no time!

Comments

trumpetgirl25 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 4:00

i bet it happens all the time...

qwep 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 2:29

Ask a hot girl to come assist you or get ****. I doubt that most guys can do it on command. But I'm a virgin naive girl, so I wouldn't know. Water is good too...

birchofacookie 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 3:26

#6, I can

Dimaranien 1

Thursday 7 May 2009 8:17

awww thats actually kinda cute. lol. hang in there! literally

no1mprtnt 0

Friday 8 May 2009 7:28

I feel your pain man... I had to do the same thing, and the place i went to didn't even give me any reading material to help the process. I finally made it work, but it was probably the first time i ever masturbated and DIDN'T enjoy it. bring some magazines, or even better an ipod with some **** you like on it. just hope your results are better than mine... but i guess thats my own FML. good luck... be prepared next time, bring your wife along to help if shes up for it. you can also do it at home if you live less than 30 minutes from the lab (i live 35 minutes if i drive fast).

whoababy55 0

Friday 8 May 2009 22:55

wowwwww

Chra 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:30

Aww haha, sucks for you.

conor1423 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:14

maybe u just needed to ask the lab tech for assistance...

looking_glass 0

Monday 8 June 2009 21:24

That's probably normal brah. I feel for you -i mean I know I am female- But seriously, that would ******* suck balls to be in there while people waited for you to ******! LMAO