Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: Get on with it, dude

Get on with it, dude

By alpine75 - 03/05/2009 16:47 - United States

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door. A clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was OK. I have to go back next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 010

You deserved it 8 541

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
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Same thing different taste

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 320

You deserved it 5 310

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 893

You deserved it 9 991

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 286

You deserved it 70 055

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 444

You deserved it 8 678

Prostate implies an Antistate

By artsmart1 - 06/03/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 2 947

Disorderly conduct

By Never Going Back To The Doctor - 04/07/2013 07:03 - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 774

You deserved it 12 468

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 8 672

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 850

You deserved it 219

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 525

You deserved it 3 608

By erectioninfection - 01/05/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 867

You deserved it 26 597

onelove7563 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:08

you know, you can always have the nurse come in and 'assist' you... haven't you ever seen road trip?

codesniper1313 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:03

It's just a dry spell. Drink plenty of water and you'll be spraying that jungle juice again in no time!

Comments

aquariusbeauty 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:15

What's with all the masturbation related fml's today??

Scheisse11 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:17

#8 is right. Go find that dude's stepdad and you should be good to go!

asdf543 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:43

HAHAH http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=g1j7n71b7vjz839xxgk3rlm48loz

159753 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:44

hahahahahhahahahhahaha #8 and #32 just made my day.

optex210 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:56

u fail for not being able to wack it anytime, anywhere...

on_a_boat 0

Monday 4 May 2009 3:05

Don't they let you bring your girlfriend/wife/whatever? I mean I'm assuming that the reason you're there is because you're trying to start a family or something...and it'd probably be easier if somebody you were comfortable with was there with you to you know, HELP...lol