Kids and Health: Go home

Go home

By Anonymous - 12/09/2018 18:30

Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 712

You deserved it 172

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Gemini gang - 27/07/2019 04:04

Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 16:09 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 700

You deserved it 3 685

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 21:46 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 178

You deserved it 5 663

Never forget

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Bristol

Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 09/05/2011 04:37 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 893

You deserved it 6 316

By Sarah - 30/08/2012 12:58 - United States - Hampton Bays

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 888

You deserved it 2 118

You're welcome!

By birthdaygirl - 22/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I called my mom to let her know I was coming home for my upcoming birthday, as I haven’t seen my parents in months. She then stated she hated my birthday because it reminded her she was getting older, and they may have preexisting plans that evening anyways. Really feeling the family love… FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 95

By magicmaster19 - 20/06/2019 14:30

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 386

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 13/03/2015 15:02 - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 2 840

Tim Carver 9

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:55

why does she know where you live if you havent seen her in 6 years

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:28

So, does that mean she was a disappointment too?

Comments

Bloo2555 22

Wednesday 12 September 2018 19:50

Wow. Just wow.

Zekfen 17

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:19

Your momma drinks because you cry. She was sober for those 6 years. Good job!

Ladisa 28

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:26

This got progressively worse.

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:28

So, does that mean she was a disappointment too?

Tim Carver 9

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:55

why does she know where you live if you havent seen her in 6 years

Noelletakumi 36

Thursday 13 September 2018 10:18

Maybe he hasn’t moved house in six years?

ThrottleJockey 35

Thursday 13 September 2018 1:56

Are your kids allergic to chocolate? No? Free cake!

R3L4Y_- 4

Thursday 13 September 2018 4:46

This is so random But its still hilarious!

zuckerburg 21

Thursday 13 September 2018 7:50

i find it weird that so many FML users are allergic to chocolate. It's almost like you HAVE to have a chocolate allergy to be or post on this site...

alycion 38

Thursday 13 September 2018 11:33

Being allergic to chocolate is a FML in itself.

boopingsnoot 24

Thursday 13 September 2018 12:12

r/JustNoMIL

chosha_fml 26

Thursday 13 September 2018 16:36

Some parents are way more disappointing.

Keywords

Work Coworkers Transportation Cars Dogs Animals Videos Miscellaneous Art Photography Love Awkward Health Sex Money Scams My ex Family Healthy Lifestyle AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Babies Mental health Sleep Parents Cheating Break-ups Social Media Friends

The Top

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 104

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 722

You deserved it 13 099

The Top

Today, I had my first driving test. The instructor turned out to be the kind of twit who made me do the full 60-minute test, only to tell me afterwards that he was failing me for the only mistake I made less than 2 minutes after the test started. Time wasting tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 254

You deserved it 3 145

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 898

You deserved it 38 956

Today, despite being the first to hold all my other grandchildren, despite my son and bitch of a daughter-in-law agreeing I would be the first, I showed up at the hospital to see my daughter-in-law's father holding my grandchild before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2 422

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 476

You deserved it 12 089

Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 273

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 3 869

Go home

Same thing different taste

Never forget

You're welcome!

Top comments

Comments