Kids, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Go play with your Lego

Go play with your Lego

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 22:00

Today, I had to hide under my husband silently as he tried to get our 3 year-old son to go play in the living room so we could both finish. Sex is hard when you have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 424

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 810

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 2 474

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 391

You deserved it 11 793

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 493

You deserved it 36 788

By alison89430 - 05/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 976

You deserved it 980

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 932

You deserved it 6 212

By footscratching - 28/01/2012 06:27 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 4 491

Alone time

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Buford

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 128

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 184

You deserved it 59 896

Hangryko 29

Friday 22 July 2022 0:12

Invest in a lock for your door.

tiptoppc 19

Friday 22 July 2022 16:47

Year. Locks for doors are a must as an adult. I use them even without little snots running through my home. My 4 cats are just as bad, except they claw to get in. The second my kid is born, locks are installed!