Going through the week like By Lewis - 24/01/2019 19:00 Yup, it's pretty much like it... I agree, your life sucks 270 You deserved it 111 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found out the guy I consider my best friend has had a girlfriend for the past year, and they have been living together for the past 7 months. He and I have been having unprotected sex for the past 4 and a half years, and have even talked about having kids together. I only found out because I'll be their new roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 853 You deserved it 674
Today, I met a close friend of my husband's for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage, and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 510 You deserved it 2 619
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 16 854 You deserved it 26 051
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 235
Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML I agree, your life sucks 25 156 You deserved it 1 507
Today, one day after our 12-year wedding anniversary, which my husband failed to acknowledge, I found a receipt in his pocket for chlamydia testing. We haven't had sex in two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 266 You deserved it 1 001
Today, as I was leaving a night shift at McDonald’s, a woman wanted to use the toilets. I explained our doors didn’t open until 7 a.m. now due to COVID-19. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and as I went to walk off, I got a swift knee in the nuts for my troubles. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 803 You deserved it 172
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 429 You deserved it 9 240