Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 135 Share Tweet Share
Today, I sneezed so hard in a café that I scared a toddler, who screamed, causing another patron to drop their coffee. It was a chain reaction of chaos, all thanks to my nose's sensitivity to the smell of knock-off perfume wafting from a dude at the table next to ours. FML I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 107
Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 352 You deserved it 3 008
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML I agree, your life sucks 31 113 You deserved it 8 395
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML I agree, your life sucks 59 844 You deserved it 3 963
Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 977 You deserved it 1 733
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 819 You deserved it 3 863
Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 090 You deserved it 236
Today, my toilet has been draining slowly, if at all, for days. I finally got someone to agree to come look at it. They never showed up. I had to pee in a bush in my yard. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 176 You deserved it 436
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!